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Fantasy Game of Thrones: Season 7, Episode 7 “The Dragon and the Wolf” rankings

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I have no idea how to rank this episode because WHO KNOWS WHATS GONNA HAPPEN!

HBO

Happy Game of Thrones Day everyone! It’s time to set your lineups for our fantasy Game of Thrones game for the last time this season.

For those who haven’t played yet (what’s wrong with you!?) I’ve constructed this fantasy game in the style of DFS. Each episode you draft a new team of five characters. Each character will have a price associated with them, thus preventing the ability to create an all stacked lineup that’s sure to win you all the fantasy points (though that didn’t stop Heath from just destroying all of us last week with a well timed Night King draft pick). There are obviously plenty of ways to score points and I’ll be writing up a recap article Mondays breaking down each episode and tallying final fantasy scores.

If you want to play, tweet your team of five to @FakeTeams or post it in the comments. And make sure you take your time building this lineup as we do announce winners, and someone needs to beat Heath.

Quick scoring recap:

Violence

5 killing random character
15 killing White Walker
25 killing known character
50 destroy an army/sack a city
50 personally killing queen/king
200 killing a dragon
300 killing Night King
+5 for each time your character decapitates someone
+5 for each time your character kills using an unconventional weapon

Sex

5 bold pickup lines
10 have random sex
15 have sex with known character
-15 interrupted sex/foreplay
30 have sex with sibling
50 consummating a budding romance (i.e. John Snow & Daenerys or Tormund Giantsbane & Brienne of Tarth)
5 naked but no boobs or butt
10 naked with boobs and/or butt
30 full frontal
40 PENIS!!!!
+5 for each time your character makes the first move

Badassery

5 solid zinger
5 solid rebuttal
5 character drawing his/her sword in slow motion
5 breaking rules
-5 being a dick
-5 whining about something
10 being formally introduced by third-party (+1 for every word after 10 words)
15 showing emotional vulnerability
20 discovering/revealing something BIIIIIIIIIIG
20 wearing faces
25 riding a dragon
30 post-massacre speech
-40 abandoning family/friends in need
50 killing from a top a dragon
50 coming back from the dead
75 spitting SUPAHOTFIRE (i.e. Queen of Thorns telling Jaime she killed Joffrey or the Night King bringing Viserion back from the dead)

Drinking

5 anytime character is eating and/or drinking in a scene
10 pass out drunk
-10 character not being able to hold their liquor
15 post-coital wine
+5 to any eating/drinking if it’s been their first meal in forever and they attack food and drink with starving ferocity

The Players

Like I said above, each team will be constructed of five players and you will have 12 points to build your team. I’ve assigned points to each character based on expected screen time and on how likely it is for them to score points in multiple categories.

Oh man, this is a tough episode to rank because so far I’ve wildly underestimated the damage that Daenerys does on her dragons. Also, this episode could either be a bloodbath or just a casual party in which every one shares their feelings. That all being said, I think I feel pretty safe in bumping everyone of importance to a five point ranking. Choose wisely.

Also, CLEGANEBOWL!!

5 points

  • Daenerys Targaryen
  • Jon Snow
  • Jaime Lannister
  • Cersei Lannister
  • Tyrion Lannister

4 points

  • Bronn
  • The Mountain
  • The Hound
  • Brandon Stark
  • Arya Stark
  • Brienne of Tarth

3 points

  • Sansa Stark
  • Missandei
  • Grey Worm
  • Theon Greyjoy
  • Gendry
  • Jorah Mormont
  • Davos Seaworth
  • Varys

2 points

  • Beric Dondarrion
  • Tormund Giantsbane
  • Euron Greyjoy

1 point

  • The Night King
  • Samwell Tarly
  • Gilly
  • Yara Greyjoy
  • Petyr Baelish
  • Melisandre
  • Qyburn
  • Harrag
  • Ebrose
  • Lyanna Mormont
  • Alys Karstark
  • Eddison Tollett
  • Hot Pie
  • Podrick Payne
  • Ned Umber
  • Edmure Tully

LET’S PLAY! Post your team in the comments or tweet it at me (@petemrogers) or @FakeTeams.