Fantasy Game of Thrones: Season 8, Episode 4 “The Last of the Starks” scorecard

I thought after the Battle of Winterfell we’d be allowed an episode of air before more chaos and craziness fell upon us and maybe we were for the first 40 or so minutes of the episode and then, BANG out of nowhere we take a 50 foot arrow straight in the heart. Good god man, give us a moment to grieve before you go right on killing characters we love. Damn you Game of Thrones. DAMN YOU!

Here’s the episode scorecard so you can score how your team did. I’ve added some highlights to give you a breakdown of some of the scoring. I also shared the teams that were tweeted our way so you can see how other teams stacked up against yours.

Let’s recap.

Highlights

• I realized what made Rhaegal’s death so surprising while re-watching the episode this morning to score it: the music! When Dany and her crew are pullin’ up on Dragonstone, the music is cheerful and triumphant and you’re feeling good about yourself and everything that’s going down on screen. THEN BAM! Mother effing Euron comes out of nowhere with a big ass bolt straight to the heart and to the neck and down goes Rhaegal (+100 killing dragon, +100 OH SHIT). That’s all Euron does this episode but it’s enough to get him the top spot.
• I’m a big fan of how that scene was done by the way. It perfectly capsulized the idea of Cersei and her army spending all this time preparing for Danny and her dragons while her whole crew was off fighting the White Walkers. Also, not an unproductive day for Cersei herself who “killed” Missandei (+15) (I’m giving her that since she called the sentence, just like Sansa and Arya getting +15 for killing Little Finger), and dropped some knowledge on Euron telling him it’s his child (+15). Do we believe her? Eh who knows. But still some news that’ll have some big time ramifications either way.
• Shoutout to the final epic staring match that Dany and Cersei shared. I clocked Dany over 10 seconds multiple times.
• Dany had her usual +25 for riding a dragon and +15 for crying over the body of Jorah. Her biggest accomplishment this episode though was making Gendry a lord. Now I didn’t quite consider that a OH SHIT moment so I compromised by giving her +20 for revealing something big and +10 for formally announcing his name. Feel free to battle me in the comments if you think that’s unjust but I’m not sure a lord-ing is worthy of 100 points.
• BUT PROPOSING TO ARYA STARK IS DEF 100 POINTS! Even when I was watching the episode again I found myself muttering “oh shit” when Gendry gets down on one knee. That being said, hard -30 (double the -15 for having sex interrupted) for Arya rejecting him. I don’t know who’s more crush: Gendry or everyone who watched the show who wanted Arya and Gendry to have a Philip Rivers’ sized family of master class assassins.
• Who saw Pod go off with two ladies to do the midnight tango (+5)? *golf clap*

• Speaking of sex, way to go Brienne for having your first sexual encounter be the one that steers Jaime out of the gene pool (+50 to both). Jaime also with some strong pickup lines talking about how hot the room is and how he needs to get naked (+5). I see you Jaime.
• SO MUCH DRINKING in this episode (+5 each time). Once for basically everyone in the episode (including guest star Bronn), twice for Brienne, three times for Jaime and a whopping four for Tyrion who’s clearly back in his party ways. Also, shoutout to feminist Tyrion rejecting the notion that simply having a cock is a qualification for the throne. You go girl!
• Meanwhile, Jon does his best “drunk college guy who’s partner just came back from the library studying and wants to get down so he tries his not to seem as drunk as he is” impression, and fails. Miserably. (-5)
• The biggest takeaway from this episode is never tell Sansa your secrets. Jon tells his sibs about his true heritage, making them all swear to silence and then within the hour, Sansa’s telling Tyrion who’s the true king of Westeros. The only way I’ma be cool with this is if this is all part of Sansa’s plan to sit on the Iron Throne. Then I’m in.