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Fantasy Game of Thrones: Season 8, Episode 2 rankings

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Oooooooh, Jamie bout to get a tongue lashing!

HBO

The weekend is just about to start which means it’s time to put on our fur coats, wear dope chain necklaces and carry a big ass sword because Game of Thrones is just around the corner! Time to set your lineup for the week.

For those who haven’t played, I’ve constructed this fantasy game in the style of DFS. Each episode you draft a new team of FIVE characters. Each character will have a price associated with them thus preventing the ability to create an all stacked lineup that’s sure to win you all the fantasy points. There are obviously plenty of ways to score points and I’ll be writing up a recap article Mondays breaking down each episode and tallying final fantasy scores.

If you want to play, just tweet to @FakeTeams with your team using #FantasyGoT or post it in the comments. Shoutout to RotoLando who took home the win last week thanks to a big showing from Euron.

Here’s the scoring breakdown (notice I’ve added a new way to score points):

Violence

5 killing random character
15 killing White Walker
25 killing known character
50 destroy an army/sack a city
50 personally killing queen/king/that bitch Cersei
100 killing a dragon
200 killing Night King
+5 for each time your character decapitates someone
+5 for each time your character kills using an unconventional weapon

Sex

5 bold pickup lines
10 have random sex
15 have sex with known character
-15 interrupted sex/foreplay
30 have sex with sibling
50 consummating a budding romance
5 naked but no boobs or butt
10 naked with boobs and/or butt
30 full frontal
40 PENIS!!!!
+5 for each time your character makes the first move

Badassery

5 solid zinger (also known as “the Bronn”)
5 solid rebuttal
5 character drawing his/her sword in slow motion
5 breaking rules
5 staring at a character for longer than 3 seconds on screen (Bran needs a way to score points)
-5 being a dick
-5 whining about something
10 being formally introduced by third-party (+1 for every word after 10 words)
15 showing emotional vulnerability
20 discovering/revealing something BIIIIIIIIIIG
20 wearing faces
25 riding a dragon
30 post-massacre speech
-40 abandoning family/friends in need
50 killing from a top a dragon (this is not per kill, just a one-off 50 pts)
50 coming back from the dead
75 spitting SUPAHOTFIRE (i.e. Queen of Thorns telling Jaime she killed Joffrey or the Night King bringing Viserion back from the dead)
500 WINNING THE BLOODY GAME OF THRONES

Drinking

5 anytime character is eating and/or drinking in a scene
10 pass out drunk
-10 character not being able to hold their liquor
15 post-coital wine
+5 to any eating/drinking if it’s been their first meal in forever and they attack food and drink with starving ferocity

The players

Like I said above, each team will be constructed of five players and you will have 12 points to build your team. I’ve assigned points to start based mainly just on name recognition because who knows what’s about to go down. Don’t worry, these rankings will change throughout the season.

5 points

  • Daenerys Targaryen
  • Jon Snow
  • Jaime Lannister
  • Cersei Lannister
  • Tyrion Lannister

4 points

  • Sansa Stark
  • Arya Stark
  • Euron Greyjoy ⬆︎
  • The Hound
  • Brienne of Tarth
  • The Night King ⬇︎

3 points

  • Brandon Stark ⬇︎
  • Bronn
  • Gendry
  • Jorah Mormont
  • Davos Seaworth
  • Grey Worm
  • Samwell Tarly ⬆︎

2 points

  • Theon Greyjoy ⬇︎
  • Missandei
  • Beric Dondarrion
  • Tormund Giantsbane
  • Varys
  • Yara Greyjoy ⬆︎

1 point

  • The Mountain ⬇︎
  • Gilly
  • Melisandre
  • Qyburn
  • Harrag
  • Ebrose
  • Lyanna Mormont
  • Alys Karstark
  • Eddison Tollett
  • Hot Pie
  • Podrick Payne
  • Ned Umber HE DEAD
  • Edmure Tully

LET’S PLAY! Post your team in the comments or tweet it at me (@petemrogers) or @FakeTeams with #FantasyGoT. Happy Thrones-ing!