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Fantasy Game of Thrones: Season 7, Episode 5 “Eastwatch” rankings

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Time to build your lineups!

Macall B. Polay – HBO

It’s Saturday, which means Game of Thrones is tomorrow and it’s time to set your lineups for our fantasy Game of Thrones game!

I’ve constructed this fantasy game in the style of DFS. Each episode you draft a new team of five characters. Each character will have a price associated with them thus preventing the ability to create an all stacked lineup that’s sure to win you all the fantasy points. There are obviously plenty of ways to score points and I’ll be writing up a recap article Mondays breaking down each episode and tallying final fantasy scores.

I know parts of our staff will be playing weekly and if you want to play, just tweet to @FakeTeams with your team of five or post it in the comments. If we get a lot of people, I’ll even announce the winner of the week. Shoutout to last week’s winner: my fiancé Becca Giles.

For those who didn’t play last week, here’s a quick scoring recap:

Violence

5 killing random character
15 killing White Walker
25 killing known character
50 destroy an army/sack a city
50 personally killing queen/king
200 killing a dragon
300 killing Night King
+5 for each time your character decapitates someone
+5 for each time your character kills using an unconventional weapon

Sex

5 bold pickup lines
10 have random sex
15 have sex with known character
-15 interrupted sex/foreplay
30 have sex with sibling
50 consummating a budding romance (i.e. John Snow & Daenerys or Tormund Giantsbane & Brienne of Tarth)
5 naked but no boobs or butt
10 naked with boobs and/or butt
30 full frontal
40 PENIS!!!!
+5 for each time your character makes the first move

Badassery

5 solid zinger
5 solid rebuttal
5 character drawing his/her sword in slow motion
5 breaking rules
-5 being a dick
-5 whining about something
10 being formally introduced by third-party (+1 for every word after 10 words)
15 showing emotional vulnerability
20 discovering something BIIIIIIIIIIG
20 wearing faces
25 riding a dragon
30 post-massacre speech
-40 abandoning family/friends in need
50 killing from a top a dragon
50 coming back from the dead
75 spitting SUPAHOTFIRE (i.e. Queen of Thorns telling Jaime she killed Joffrey)

Drinking

5 anytime character is eating and/or drinking in a scene
10 pass out drunk
-10 character not being able to hold their liquor
15 post-coital wine
+5 to any eating/drinking if it’s been their first meal in forever and they attack food and drink with starving ferocity

The Players

Like I said above, each team will be constructed of five players and you will have 12 points to build your team. I’ve assigned points to each character based on expected screen time and on how likely it is for them to score points in multiple categories.

Last week, Daenerys scored all of the points for not only riding her dragon Drogon, but also killing a poop ton of people from a top it. Basically an entire army. So she naturally moves up a spot. The Lannister lovers did squat last episode—and we don’t know if Jamie’s alive—so they take a fall in the pricing. Here’s the full rankings:

5 points

  • Daenerys Targaryen

4 points

  • Jon Snow
  • Jaime Lannister
  • Cersei Lannister
  • Arya Stark

3 points

  • Tyrion Lannister
  • Sansa Stark
  • Missandei
  • Euron Greyjoy
  • Davos Seaworth
  • Grey Worm
  • Bronn

2 points

  • The Hound
  • Tormund Giantsbane
  • Jorah Mormont
  • Brienne of Tarth
  • Yara Greyjoy
  • Varys

1 point

  • Brandon Stark
  • Samwell Tarly
  • Theon Greyjoy
  • Petyr Baelish
  • The Mountain
  • Melisandre
  • The Night King
  • Qyburn
  • Gendry
  • Harrag
  • Ebrose
  • Lyanna Mormont
  • Alys Karstark
  • Beric Dondarrion
  • Randyll Tarly
  • Eddison Tollett
  • Gilly
  • Hot Pie
  • Podrick Payne
  • Meera Reed
  • Ned Umber
  • Edmure Tully

LET’S PLAY! Post your team in the comments or tweet it at me (@petemrogers) or @FakeTeams.