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Fantasy Game of Thrones: Season 7, Episode 4 “The Spoils of War” scorecard

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Total fantasy points and total Mother of Dragons appreciation.

HBO

***SPOILER ALERT***

WHAT

AN

EPISODE

I mean, what else could you have wanted from this episode? It had everything! Dragons, fire, death, Daenerys finally deciding to just lay waste to humans, Jon Snow making the first move, Davos being sassy as hell, Arya returning to Winterfell. GAH!

Here’s the episode scorecard so you can score how your team did. I’ve added some highlights—mostly me just sputtering about how amazing Danny is—giving you a breakdown of some of the scoring. I also shared the teams that were tweeted our way so you can see how other teams stacked up against yours.

Start tallying your scores!

S7, E4 scorecard

CHARACTER VIOLENCE SEX BADASSERY DRINKING TOTAL
CHARACTER VIOLENCE SEX BADASSERY DRINKING TOTAL
Daenerys Targaryen 50 0 80 0 130
Jaime Lannister 25 0 5 0 30
Bronn 20 0 10 0 30
Arya Stark 0 0 25 0 25
Davos Seaworth 0 0 20 0 20
Cersei Lannister 0 0 0 5 5
Jon Snow 0 5 0 0 5
Brienne of Tarth 0 0 5 0 5
Grey Worm 0 0 0 0 0
Euron Greyjoy 0 0 0 0 0
Tyrion Lannister 0 0 0 0 0
Sansa Stark 0 0 0 0 0
Missandei 0 0 0 0 0
Theon Greyjoy 0 0 0 0 0
The Hound 0 0 0 0 0
Tormund Giantsbane 0 0 0 0 0
Yara Greyjoy 0 0 0 0 0
Varys 0 0 0 0 0
Jorah Mormont 0 0 0 0 0
Qyburn 0 0 0 0 0
Samwell Tarly 0 0 0 0 0
Petyr Baelish 0 0 0 0 0
The Mountain 0 0 0 0 0
Melisandre 0 0 0 0 0
The Night King 0 0 0 0 0
Gendry 0 0 0 0 0
Harrag 0 0 0 0 0
Ebrose 0 0 0 0 0
Lyanna Mormont 0 0 0 0 0
Alys Karstark 0 0 0 0 0
Beric Dondarrion 0 0 0 0 0
Randyll Tarly 0 0 0 0 0
Eddison Tollett 0 0 0 0 0
Gilly 0 0 0 0 0
Hot Pie 0 0 0 0 0
Podrick Payne 0 0 0 0 0
Meera Reed 0 0 0 0 0
Ned Umber 0 0 0 0 0
Edmure Tully 0 0 0 0 0

Highlights

  • After catching a glimpse of Bronn in last episode, I had a feeling he could be in for a big role this week. I was going to put him on my team but thought that Jorah would be the better pick. Boy was I wrong. Bronn started the episode with some witty banter with the Kingslayer (+10) and then was integral in the Dragon battle massacre (+15 for killing, +5 for killing a Dothraki with the scorpion weapon). He had a chance to be the single greatest sleeper pick of all time had he been able to kill Drogon but sadly for fantasy owners (luckily for Dragon lovers) he only wounded him which amounts to no points.
  • Slightly depressing episode for Jaime as he only killed five Dothraki all in the traditional manner (+25). He did get +5 for his snarky comment to Bronn at the start of the episode but that was it for witt.
  • Very depressing episode for Cersei who only got on the board because she decided to have a glass of wine while chatting it up with the Iron Bank (+5).
  • Arya’s return to Winterfell was excellent and had some tender moments (+15). She also was a Grade A badass taking on Brienne in a duel. Sadly I don’t have “have a dope ass fight” as a badass award but I gave points for some of the comments made during and post-fight, particularly Arya’s response to Brienne wondering who taught her to fight like this.
  • While Bronn won his points throughout the episode, the best sleeper in terms of his production vs. screen time ratio easily was Davos Seaworth. In the span of five minutes, Davos racked up 20 points thanks to multiple zingers: He called Jon Snow out for staring at Daenerys, corrected Snow’s grammar, felt Essos’ marriage laws were “liberating” and wanted to join Danny’s side after Missandei’s impassioned speech. For 3 points? I’ll take that.
  • Jon Snow had a empty episode except for this (+5 baby!):
  • And finally we get to Daenerys. To start the episode, Danny’s claim to fantasy stardom was only a burning rebuttal to Tyrion (+5). But boy did she perform in the clutch. In the final 10 minutes of the show she rode a dragon (+25), killed people from atop that dragon (+50) and completely disposed of an army (+50). She put Cersei and the Iron Throne on notice. I also have no idea how everyone in Jaimes’ crew didn’t immediately poop themselves when they saw that dragon come out of the clouds. Talk about smell.

Results

  1. Becca Giles: 160 points (Daenerys, Euron, Bronn, The Mountain, Littlefinger)
  2. Pete Rogers: 155 points (Daenerys, Arya, Jorah, Littlefinger, The Mountain)
  3. Heath Capps: 130 points (Euron, Dany, Tormund, Gendry, The Mountain)
  4. Mark Abell: 20 points (Sansa, Tryion, Davos, Missandei)

Till next week!