History, for those of you over 18

I’ve traded away most of my top prospects this year in an attempt to win it all (champ this year, who needs next year?), so right now I’m burdened with several pitching prospects (NO SUCH THING!): Tyler Skaggs, Jarrod Parker, and Mike Montgomery. Was going to pick up
Carlos Martinez (Matias) about a month ago, but he was snaked right ahead of me in our bi-weekly FA draft. No big deal, pitching prospects are just roster filler, unless you have a major stud.

As far as position-players, I just double-checked my roster to see if it was, in fact, this bleak, and, yes…I’ve got Michael Taylor, LF, OAK. And that’s it. Christ. I don’t even like Michael Taylor, he’s just become a grudging project of mine and I’m irrationally unwilling to let him go. HE’S GONNA SURPRISE EV’RYONE, I TELLS YA!

A more interesting story would be who I’ve traded this year, prospect-wise:

Eric Hosmer for Carl Crawford and Hunter Pence: generated a lot of talk, but the guy I traded with was already out of the race in mid-May, and Crawford was sucking air back then. League consensus is that I got the better end for this year, he got the better end for the future, which is exactly what we both wanted. Crawford is probably a keeper, Pence is borderline; he seems to be kept every other year or so, but traded a lot within the league. Hosmer is a future HOFer, book it.

Wil Myers and Kendrys Morales for Chase Utley and Matt Joyce: Another out-of-the-hunt team looking to next year. I, personally, LOVE Wil Myers, and think his bad AA year is a fluke, and I’m royally screwed at 1B (have been every year in this league) by trading away Morales, but this was kind of a no-brainer. I hate the Phillies, but Utley is a stud. Matt Joyce, on the other hand, is my freaking albatross. He puts up numbers on my bench, and sucks butts when I start him. I’m considering writing him a letter in hopes of eventually getting the two of us on the same page. I expected a downturn, but not a vicious, pointed screwing like I’ve gotten.

Devin Mesoraco for Mariano Rivera: I hate this trade. The guy I traded with (incidentally, the same guy who gave up the kitchen sink for Bryce Harper) loved Mesoraco and I didn’t take full advantage. I feel like I could have gotten more. But I’m LOADED at catcher, with Miguel Montero, JP Arencibia, Mike Napoli, and some other schmuck I can’t even remember, and I had some room to give regarding saves in our league (you don’t get points for total team saves in excess of wins). Maybe I’m just pissed right now because Mo has had a uniquely awful week, I dunno, but I really should have pressed the issue here. This was his first offer, and I, as a rule, never accept first offers unless they’re outrageous, but he’s a friend and I was weak for a moment. Whatever.

I just had Goldschmidt called up, so that’s a prospy that I was holding for a minute (traded Mat Latos for him back in May, one day after the Hosmer trade, I was having 1B prospect withdrawal. I’m trying to get Latos back for the stretch run.) Elvis Andrus is a long-term project that has paid out nicely, so far. I had Austin Jackson for 3 years before last year and had to tearfully cut him this last offseason. Carlos Gonzalez is probably my top project-prospect in terms of payoff, I drafted him right after he escaped Oakland; he had been dropped immediately after being traded from the Arizona system to the awful muck that is the A’s farm system - also known as “How To Ruin a Young Player 101.” HellBoy, Ogando, and Hanson are also pet projects who have paid huge dividends, though all of them are currently boning me with innings limits.

Like I said, I’ve traded away pretty much everyone who is a future star for guys that can contribute right now, which has been my strategy. But if I miss the championship this year, I could very well be screwed for next year. My current offseason plan is to trade EVERY stud I have (Weaver, Utley, Pedroia, CarGo, Pence, etc.) for prospects and have my keeper team cost me almost no points (each team gets a set number of keeper points based on their finish in the previous season. each player’s point value is their total point value from the last season. Weaver could easily be a 700 point player, just like Bautista was last year. Bautista was actually dropped bc his point value was so high and his owner didn’t feel like he had any chance of giving a return-on-investment anywhere close to that. he was wrong), and then using my massive point surplus in next year’s waiver draft to basically take whomever I want (we have a draft before our regular draft in which unused keeper points can be used to draft any pointing player from the previous year. prospects, at 0 points, cannot be taken, nor can negative-pointing players. this means that I would have basically unlimited access to every player not on a keeper roster, in advance of our regular draft).

Um, this is becoming a thesis. I have to stop now.