Fantasy Game of Thrones: Season 8, Episode 5 rankings

We’ve come to the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones, but the ultimate round of fantasy Game of Thrones. Yes, I’m sad to say this will be the last round of fantasy GoT as I’ll be traveling during the show finale next week and won’t be able to grade it on account of not having any internet (as it is I’m gonna have to find some way of watching the episode when it comes out).

So with that in mind—and given that this seems like it’ll be another big battle episode with The Seven knows what happening in it—I’ve again spiced up the scoring for this episode so make sure you read through it carefully in order to give yourselves the best chance of winning.

For those who haven’t played, I’ve constructed this fantasy game in the style of DFS. Each episode you draft a new team of four or five characters (NO 3 PLAYER TEAMS!). Each character will have a price associated with them thus preventing the ability to create an all stacked lineup that’s sure to win you all the fantasy points. There are obviously plenty of ways to score points and I’ll be writing up a recap article Mondays breaking down each episode and tallying final fantasy scores.

If you want to play, just tweet to @FakeTeams with your team using #FantasyGoT or post it in the comments. Shoutout to RotoLando winning last week thanks to Euron killing Dany’s second dragon (seriously, protect your dragons better gurl).

Here’s the scoring breakdown:

Violence

5 killing random character
50 killing a known character
100 killing Cersei
100 killing Jon Snow
100 killing Daenerys
100 killing Drogon
x2 for everyone your character kills while they are dying
+5 for each time your character decapitates someone
+5 for each time your character kills using an unconventional weapon or in a dope ass way

Sex

5 bold pickup lines
10 have random sex
15 have sex with known character
-15 interrupted sex/foreplay
30 have sex with sibling/relative
50 consummating a budding romance
5 naked but no boobs or butt
10 naked with boobs and/or butt
30 full frontal
50 PENIS!!!!
+5 for each time your character makes the first move

Badassery

5 solid zinger/rebuttal
5 character drawing his/her sword in slow motion
5 staring at a character for longer than 3 seconds on screen
5 asking the tough question
-5 whining about something/being a dick
10 being formally introduced by third-party (+1 for every word after 10 words)
15 showing emotional vulnerability
20 discovering/revealing something BIIIIIIIIIIG
25 riding a dragon
30 throwing caution to the wind to avenge someone’s death/sacrificing yourself
-40 abandoning family/friends in need
50 wearing faces
50 killing from a top a dragon (this is not per kill, just a one-off 50 pts)
100 An “OH SHIT” moment (formally “spitting SUPAHOTFIRE”) Think Night King bringing Viserion back from the dead or Walder Frey orchestrating the Red Wedding
500 WINNING THE BLOODY GAME OF THRONES

Drinking

5 anytime character is eating and/or drinking in a scene
10 pass out drunk
-10 character not being able to hold their liquor
15 post-coital wine
+5 to any eating/drinking if it’s been their first meal in forever and they attack food and drink with starving ferocity

The players

Each team will be constructed of four or five players and you will have 12 points to build your team. Let’s build some super teams this final week.

4 points

• Daenerys Targaryen
• Jon Snow

3 points

• Arya Stark
• Cersei Lannister
• Jaime Lannister
• Tyrion Lannister
• Euron Greyjoy
• The Hound
• The Mountain
• Grey Worm
• Harry Strickland (captain of the Golden Company)
• Gendry
• Yara Greyjoy
• Bronn

2 points

• Sansa Stark
• Brandon Stark
• Davos Seaworth
• Varys
• Qyburn
• Podrick

1 point

• Brienne of Tarth
• Tormund Giantsbane
• Gilly
• Samwell Tarly
• Ghost
• Harrag
• Alys Karstark

LET’S PLAY! Post your team in the comments or tweet it at me (@petemrogers) or @FakeTeams with #FantasyGoT. Happy Thrones-ing!