Fantasy Game of Thrones: Season 8, Episode 3 “The Long Night” scorecard

I’m gonna be honest: watching this episode, and then re-watching this episode to score it took years off my life. Jordan talked about this on last week’s podcast, but Game of Thrones has done an amazing job at creating a world where they actually rarely give us a surprise/shocking kill but we still nevertheless expect the worst to happen.

I was a sweating, nervous wreck this entire episode and was certain on multiple occasions every single person I ever loved in this show was going to die. And die in the most tragic, anticlimactic way. I thought that was for sure true for anyone who was on the actual battlefield given how the wave of the undead came crashing down on them.

All that to say, that was an incredible episode. Holy buckets.

Here’s the episode scorecard so you can score how your team did. I’ve added some highlights to give you a breakdown of some of the scoring. I also shared the teams that were tweeted our way so you can see how other teams stacked up against yours.

Let’s recap this biznitch.

Highlights

• Normally I start the highlights with the MVP but I’ma save her for last. Instead I want to start with Melisandre who casually rode out of the woods and came in FLAMING HOT lighting the Dothraki blades ablaze (+100 OH SHIT) and then dropping some knowledge for Arya telling her exactly what her purpose on this Earth was (+20).
• Also, pour some out for Beric sacrificing himself (+30) and doing exactly what the Lord of Light wanted him to do with all his resurrections. And props to the Hound for throwing caution and his fear of fire to the wind to help save Arya (+30). Both those guys get a standing ovation.
• What makes Game of Thrones so amazing is its ability to make us laugh even in the most dire moments. This was a crushing episode, let the record show, but Tyrion and Sansa’s brief marriage conversation was amazing: Sansa telling Tyrion that he was the best of her husbands, to which Tyrion responds with “What a terrifying thought” (+5). Both of them get +15 for the beautiful moment hiding in the crypts before they face their fate. Am I crazy for kind of wanting that relationship to be back on?
• Got to recognize those who’s watch ended this episode. Edd Tollett saved Sam only to meet a grizzly fate. Jorah died exactly as we all expected: defending Danny until his final breath. He had a big time violence score with 5 kills (+25) coming after taking multiple stabs straight to the chest and back (x2). Our girl Lyanna Mormont went out taking down a giant (I’m calling that +15) after getting hammered by it (x2) and charging like a total badass to certain death (+30). Finally, we have redemption man Theon. What a conclusion to his story arc. Good lord. First off, dude was straight dealing in the Godswood (+50) and then he gets some words of encouragement from Bran and goes head first into the Night King (+30).
• And let’s talk about the Night King quickly. Big day for him: riding a dragon (+25), killing atop said dragon (+50), raising ANOTHER army of the dead just for Jon to fight (+100 OH SHIT), then killing Theon, a character we know, with the splintered end of a broken spear (+25, +5 for unconventional weapon). But most importantly, he and Bran both got +5 for their delightful stare-off in the Godswood before...
• AYRA MOTHER FUCKING STARK COMES OUT OF NOWHERE TO KILL THE NIGHT KING (+200, +100 OH SHIT). Arya already was having a great episode thanks to her slaying easy 20+ whites on the wall with her staff (+110) and for having a stare off with Melisandre when she first arrives (+5), but all that quickly paled in comparison to her FREAKING KILLING THE NIGHT KING. I can assure you, I was screaming at the top of my lungs when Arya stabbed him, not just because I drafted her, but because THAT WAS THE MOST AMAZING WAY TO KILL THE NIGHT KING! I’d run through a freaking stone wall for that women. Watch out Cersei, your ass is next.