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Fantasy Game of Thrones: Season 8, Episode 2 “A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms” scorecard

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SIR BRIENNE OF TARTH BABY!

HBO

What we just witnessed was easily one of the best episodes of Game of Thrones ever. And I mean ever. For starters, the premise of the episode was just brilliant. The entire episode set on the day before the Night King and his army arrive to Winterfell, showing how our favorite characters are preparing themselves for the biggest battle the world has ever known. I left the episode feeling so amped for the Battle of Winterfell but also on the verge of tears knowing that we’re almost certainly about to see many of our favorite characters die and then become wrights because Game of Thrones is cruel and loves to rip out hearts out right when they’re feeling most good.

Also, and I’m speaking directly to George R.R. Martin, David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, if you dare to kill Arya Stark right after she and Gendry have sex, you will all be on my list.

Here’s the episode scorecard so you can score how your team did. I’ve added some highlights to give you a breakdown of some of the scoring. I also shared the teams that were tweeted our way so you can see how other teams stacked up against yours.

S8, E2 scorecard

Character Violence Sex Badassery Drinking Total
Character Violence Sex Badassery Drinking Total
Arya Stark 65 25 5 95
Gendry 50 20 70
Daenerys Targaryen 35 35
Jamie Lannister 20 10 30
Brienne of Tarth 20 5 25
Brandon Stark 25 25
Jon Snow 20 20
Tyrion Lannister 15 5 20
Sansa Stark 20 20
Tormund Giantsbane 15 5 20
Davos Seaworth 5 5 10
The Hound 5 5 10
Eddison Tollett 10 10
Samwell Tarly 5 5
Beric Dondarrion 5 5
Theon Greyjoy 5 5
Lyanna Mormont 5 5
Grey Worm 5 5
Podrick 5 5

Highlights

  • Got to start the highlights with episode MVP Arya Stark. Even before she and Gendry consummated their budding romance (+50) and flashed a naked butt and sideboob (+10), Arya was leading the pack thanks to some snarky and badass comments. Telling Gendry to describe the white walkers better than “really bad” was great (+5), as was her calmly informing him that “I know death, he’s got many faces, i look forward to seeing this one” (+5). Also, round of applause for the man Gendry himself! Not only did he also consummate, but he also dropped some casual knowledge on Ayra informing her he’s Baratheon’s bastard son (+20). Super casual.
  • Has Danny always been this sassy? She was just rattling off the zingers this episode: calling out Tyron for trusting Cersei (“I trust my brother” “Just like you trusted your sister?”), comparing Jon and Khal Drogo’s heights, and describing Davos lighting the trench as “waving a torch” (each +5). Final badass points for her convo with Sansa where she describes them both as bad ass females in a male dominated world. Also +20 to Jon for revealing to Danny that he’s a Targaryen. BUT THAT’S IT FOR THAT! No more points for revealing that now that the two main people involved know.
  • Bran spitting some snark this episode: throwing Jamie’s “things we do for love” quote right back at him (+5) and then, when Jamie asks why he didn’t tell everyone what Jamie had done, saying he couldn’t help in the fight if they murder him first (+5). Way to redeem yourself Bran. I’m also giving him +15 for revealing the fact that the Night King will show himself in order to kill Bran and part of the Night King’s motivation for destroying humans. That’s some big time shit there.
  • Sansa crying over seeing Theon again was beautiful (+15)
  • BUT NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS SEEING BRIENNE CRYSMILE AFTER GETTING KNIGHTED (+15)!!!!!! Gah what a scene that was. First off, everyone in it was drinking, and then extra points to Jamie and Brienne for breaking the dumb ass traditions of Westeros (+5 each) (or as Tormund would say, “Fuck tradition”). Tormund also had a couple of truly amazing lines, including his multiple suggestions that he and Brienne should hook up (+15 total) and his drinking Giant booby milk story which was incredible.

Standings

Rank Name Episode 2 score Team Season 8 score
Rank Name Episode 2 score Team Season 8 score
1 Josh Spaunhorst 195 Arya, Gendry, Tormund, Lyanna Mormont, Podrick 265
2 CT 190 Arya, Gendry, Tormund, Missandei, Lyanna Mormont 295
3 behumble 150 Arya, Brienne of Tarth, Tormund, Pod, Lyanna Mormont 150
4 Pete 130 Arya, Grey Worm, Tormund, Beric, Lyanna Mormont 185
5 Brandon Gerber 125 Arya, Grey Worm, Missandei, Tormund, Lyanna Mormont 125
6 Becca 120 Arya, Bronn, Tormund, Yara, Lyanna Mormont 260
7 Paddi 120 Arya, The Night King, Tormund, Melisandre, Lyanna Mormont 160
8 Rich Resch 65 Jamie, Bran, Beric, Lyanna Mormont, The Mountain 130
9 Kate 60 Daenerys, Euron, Tormund, Lyanna Mormont 185
10 Raymon Trost 55 Bran, Bronn, Jamie, Qyburn 70
11 Heath 50 Brienne of Tarth, Bran, Varys, Missandei, Gilly 100
12 Gabe Champ 45 The Night King, Brienne of Tarth, Tormund, Alys Karstark, The Mountain 160
13 Kailey 45 Jon, Euron, Tormund, Lyanna Mormont 45
14 Brandon Tribble 45 Cersei, Bran, Tromund, Qyburn, The Mountain 45
15 Mark 40 Sansa, The Night King, Tormund, Yara 55
16 Andrew Schuba 40 Tyrion, Missandei, Tormund, Varys, Gilly 95
17 RotoLando 25 The Night King, Jorah, Tormund, Theon, Edd Tollett 185
18 Brian 20 Cersei, Bronn, Tromund, Euron 20
19 Billy 10 The Hound, Yara, Bronn, Rhein Greyjoy, The Mountain 10
20 Max Power 0 -- 15
21 Bill Harney 0 -- 80
22 Ryan Hodge 0 -- 70
23 Jake Newsome 0 -- 65
24 Eddie Cange 0 -- 35