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Each NFL team’s schedule release, ranked

Everyone’s sitting at home bored.

Pete Rogers Illustrations

The NFL schedule release is already a manufactured holiday that’s sole purpose is to force the NFL back onto everyone’s timeline and with no sports going on, it went even bigger this year with a THREE HOUR release party on ESPN. Good lord people. Do we really care that much about what team plays who when?

While the event itself is dumb and way overblown—at least in my humble, cynical opinion—it does actually lead to some rather good content put out by team social media accounts. So, here are the definitive rankings of each NFL team’s schedule release based on creativity, humor, fun, and my own gut. Let me know what your rankings would be in the comments.

New Orleans Saints

I know no ranking right off the bat is not exactly what you want when you come to a ranking article but wanted to start with the Saints because it’s not really a schedule release but it is a really amazing thing they did, so they get props for being great.

31. Kansas City Chiefs

Not even a video. I think they did a live stream to announce the schedule but please, no one’s watching that. Chiefs just resting on their laurels at this point smh.

30. Seattle Seahawks

No video, no love. Also why have this be four separate photos? Why not just have it be one picture so you don’t get weird overlapping?

29. Cleveland Browns

Talking over a giant picture of the schedule. Basic AF.

28. Los Angeles Rams

We get it, ya’ll got a new stadium. You got fans to fill it?

27. New York Jets

Not much here. The drawings go too fast, you can’t tell what’s being drawn, and there isn’t much humor. That’s a no from me dog.

26. Cincinnati Bengals

The cigar theme is a nice touch but this had so much promise after the opening and then ultimately a little disappointing.

25. Arizona Cardinals

Not a video but this thread is pretty good. Why they didn’t just toss all these into a video I’ll never know.

24. Carolina Panthers

Not a bad idea but there’s just too much going on and waaaay too many camera pans and spins and whatnot.

23. Atlanta Falcons

Falcons taking themselves a liiiiittle too seriously in their new uniforms.

22. Chicago Bears

This is terrifying to watch and will most certainly haunt me for the rest of my days.

21. Las Vegas Raiders

Players catching the ball from each other to cool music. Cool.

19. Washington

Players working out. Cool.

18. New York Giants

Player and friends reading the schedule. Cool.

17. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Points for creativity and the idea, but not great execution. The offense/defense smack talking was appreciated though.

16. Pittsburgh Steelers

Just a basic highlight reel package. Nothing clever or creative. But still better than the Jets.

15. Indianapolis Colts

Another players announcing the schedule but Quenton Nelson saves the day.

14. New England Patriots

It’s fun, but also boring. I’ve already seen into each coaches house during the draft, don’t really need to see it all again. That being said, the chat bar does have a couple good liners.

13. Houston Texans

Alright, this is kinda cute, though I’m not sure why they went with this theme.

12. Philadelphia Eagles

Bored at home watching TV is a running theme with all these and the Eagles do a good job with them, though some of the show connections aren’t quite there.

11. Minnesota Vikings

A little slow, a little long, but they get some good jabs and jokes in here.

10. Baltimore Ravens

I like the idea, but the execution doesn’t quite land. There’s often too much going on and it’s hard to track just what you should be watching.

9. Buffalo Bills/Dallas Cowboys

Are they the most dynamic schedule release? No but it does make you feel good and does a great job recognizing all those make a difference in today’s world.

8. Green Bay Packers

Clear, straight forward, and fun. I like it!

7. San Francisco 49ers

Westworld vibe, I dig! A little tough at times to see exactly who the team is but it’s clean and looks beautiful.

6. Miami Dolphins

Like the TV perusing aspect of the announcement and some of the shows they have are spot on, mainly the amount of shade that’s thrown at the Jets. Well done.

5. Detroit Lions

I’d watch Planet Lions, especially with this Not-David-Attenborough David Attenborough.

4. Tennessee Titans

A big fan of the animation and some of the action sequences. Also, did Titan Man kill the teddy bear because that’s what it sounded like.

3. Los Angeles Chargers

I legit teared up watching this.

2. Denver Broncos

Now this is how you release a schedule. The TV show opening is a classic motif but the Broncos players are the ones that really sell this. Whoever rejected his daughter’s shot, Mutombo’d her, and then smiled at the camera is my personal hero.

1. Jacksonville Jaguars

YES TO ALL OF THIS