If you’ve come here for knowledgeable, intelligent, well researched advice regarding making the most money on Super Bowl 54, then I would like to inform you that you’ve come to the wrong place and should leave now before I lose you money. I by no stretch of the imagination am a gambler. I’m still trying to figure out just exactly what the plus/minus means in terms of betting lines (though after a couple of years of writing this column, I’ve started to remember). However, if you’re here because you love seeing the dumb shit people bet on and odds makers determine deserve odds made, well then by all means, continue reading!
Prop bets are always fun because after your few obvious ones (there’s always a bet on the over/under length of the national anthem), things get rather silly in terms of just what people are willing to wager on. And as someone who happily wagers on the Super Bowl, I am here for the most ridiculous of the ridiculous bets. (Last year I put $100 on James Devlin to score a touchdown at +1200 so I was really REALLY excited when Rob Gronkowski got the Patriots down to the one yard line thinking this surely would be my chance. Then Sony Michel ran it in. Damn.)
Without delaying any further, here are my favorite Super Bowl 54 prop bets.
Odds courtesy of Bovada
How long will it take Demi Lovato to sing the National Anthem?
Over (2min 4sec) -130
Uver (2min 4sec) EVEN
Hit the over here. Did you see Demi Lovato sing the National Anthem for the World Series back in 2015?
Demi has pipes and she is not afraid to use them. I might not even be surprised if she ran over 2 minutes 30 seconds. What are my odds on that?
Will Andy Reid coach the Super Bowl in a Hawaiian shirt?
It is going to take a lot of will power from yours truly not to put a small fortune on YES here. Doesn’t coaching in a Hawaiian shirt, in Miami, in the Super Bowl seem like the most Andy Reid thing out there? I highly doubt it will happen but man, if it does, those are some terrific odds.
Will a non-QB throw a touchdown?
Couldn’t you see Kyle Shanahan drawing up the Derrick Henry flip touchdown that the Titans used against the Ravens for Raheem Mostert one drive? Or maybe the Chiefs have their own gimmick play with Travis Kelce taking the pitch, only to toss it to Mecole Hardman who sprints to the sideline, only to dump it off into the waiting arms of Patrick Mahomes. Then EPSN spends all offseason wondering if Mahomes would be a better receiver than quarterback.
Will any TD celebration contain a Fortnite dance move?
With Travis Kelce on the field, there’s a good chance.
Will Raheem Mostert score a touchdown in the 1st & 2nd half?
I might be suffering from too much confidence in Kyle Shanahan’s ground attack but two touchdowns for Mostert seems entirely reasonable. The tricky move here is spacing them out. +425 is pretty enticing for a man who just scored four touchdowns in his last game.
Will Patrick Mahomes throw 2 or more TDs in any quarter?
I almost kinda feel like this is a lock to happen. The Chiefs have no real ground game to speak of and their offense can get red hot REALLY fast. Couldn’t you see something where the Super Bowl starts slowly and it’s like 10-3 heading into the second quarter and then suddenly everything starts clicking for the Chiefs as it’s want to do and Mahomes suddenly starts chucking bombs everywhere and Kansas City goes to score 14 unanswered points? It doesn’t seem too far fetched.
Will Shakira have a wardrobe malfunction during the halftime show?
Will Jenifer Lopez have a wardrobe malfunction during the halftime show?
Keep dreaming Pt 2. (That being said, imagine if you won $1200 AND saw something you weren’t supposed to...)
How many times will Alex Rodriguez be shown during the halftime show?
Over (0.5) +145
Under (0.5) -190
ARod flies onto stage in an inflatable yacht as JLo and a bunch of male dancers in speedos sing I Luh Ya Papi. Tell me that ain’t happening.
Super Bowl MVP
Patrick Mahomes +115
Jimmy Garoppolo +275
Raheem Mostert +550
George Kittle +1000
Travis Kelce +1500
Harrison Butker +10000
Fred Warner +15000
Obviously these are all the names, but they’re all my favorites. Mahomes, Jimmy G and Mostert are clear favorites. Kittle and Kelce are both also obvious picks given that either one of them could go off for a huge game and be the deciding factor. Fred Warner I threw on here because he could be the super sneaky Malcolm Smith MVP type player where he gets a pick six, maybe another interception, racks up a bunch of tackles and tosses in a sack. I just want to know what it would take for Harrison Butker, a kicker, to win SB MVP. Perfect 10/10 with five 50+ kicks? Would even that do it?
Who will the Super Bowl MVP mention first in his speech?
None of the above +650
When Harrison Butker wins Super Bowl MVP, you can bet the first words out of his mouth will be “GOD WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?”
How many TikToks will Patrick Mahomes’ brother make on February 2nd?
Over (5.5) -175
Under (5.5) +135
I’m setting the over/under at 10.5 and all of them will be annoying.
Will Mike Vick tweet about the Puppy Bowl?