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Fantasy Game of Thrones: Season 8, Episode 1 “Winterfell” scorecard

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Big week for Danny, Jon, Dragons and Euron

HBO

GAME OF THRONES IS BACK AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!

Be honest, when the theme song started and the we saw Winterfell rising from the ground, you teared up a little inside didn’t you? How could you not! This show has been such an integral part of our lives and now it’s the beginning of the end.

*single tear trickles down cheek*

BUT WHAT A START!

Family banter, Jon and Arya seeing each other since like Season 1, Jon and Danny kissing, the Night King sending a very aggressive message, Jon and Danny kissing, Jon riding a DRAGON!, Jon and Danny kissing and finally Sam sharing some big ass news with Jon. Oh, and Jon and Danny kissed.

Here’s the episode scorecard so you can score how your team did. I’ve added some highlights—did you know Jon and Danny kissed?—giving you a breakdown of some of the scoring. I also shared the teams that were tweeted our way so you can see how other teams stacked up against yours.

S8, E1 scorecard

Character Violence Sex Badassery Drinking Total
Character Violence Sex Badassery Drinking Total
Daenerys Targaryen 10 55 65
Euron Greyjoy 15 25 5 45
Jon Snow 40 40
Cersei Lannister 15 5 15 35
Samwell Tarly 35 35
Arya Stark 30 30
Tyrion Lannister 15 15
Sansa Stark 15 15
Bronn -5 5 15 15
Beric Dondarrion 15 15
Gendry 5 5 10
Yara Greyjoy 10 10
The Hound 5 5
Theon Greyjoy 5 5
Varys 5 5
Lyanna Mormont 5 5
Tormund Giantsbane 5 5
Brandon Stark -5 -5

Highlights

  • As you would expect, it was a big week for Daenerys thanks in large part to riding a dragon (+25) and revealing that she torched Sam’s dad and brother to Sam in a very Danny blunt manner, which I appreciate (+20). Also, big points for her expertly delivered pick up line: “Keep your queen warm” (+5, and another +5 for making the first move). Jon gets points for riding a dragon (+25) and showing emotional vulnerability with Arya (+15). Outside of that, dude didn’t do much.
  • Sneaky MVP of the episode was Euron who seemingly has taken over the Bronn role of saying zingers with every word that comes out of his mouth. Plus, having sex with known character Cersei gives him a nice point boost (+15). Also a nice showing from the Queen herself as she also gets +15 for sex with known character and another +15 for post-coital wine. Always a must after a long hard fucking.
  • The Stark sisters had some good zingers this episode. Ayra’s “First I robbed you” zinger to the Hound was amazing (+5) and Sansa’s “Joffrey’s wedding had its moments” was straight fire (+5).
  • I was all in on a big Bronn episode (or just at least a few sneaky points) and I almost had my wish with sex (+10), post-qoutal wine (+15) AND great retort about the Lannisters (+5), but goddamn Qyburn had to go interrupt Bronn’s sexual encounters putting a big ol’ -15 on the scorecard. Damn.
  • Finally, Sam shows some emotional vulnerability at the loss of his brother—let’s be honest, he doesn’t give a shit about his dad (+15)—and tells Jon that he’s the rightful king (+20). At least he helped fix my Bronn mistake. Blarg.
  • Also, -5 for Bran sitting in the middle of Winterfell just staring at everyone.

Standings

Rank Name Episode 1 score Team Season 8 score
Rank Name Episode 1 score Team Season 8 score
1 RotoLando 160 Daenerys, Bronn, Euron, Sam, Edd Tollett 160
2 Becca 140 Daenerys, Arya, Qyburn, Yara, Sam 140
3 Kate 125 Daenerys, Sansa, Sam, Yara, Pod 125
4 Gabe Champ 115 Jon, Arya, Sam, Gilly, Yara 115
5 CT 105 Cersei, Sam, Tormund, Arya 105
6 Bill Harney 80 Grey Worm, Bronn, Beric, Tormund, Euron 80
7 Ryan Hodge 70 Jon Snow, Tormund, Bronn, Yara, Tarly 70
8 Josh Spaunhorst 70 Arya, Jorah, Tormund, Sam, Pod 70
9 Jake Newsome 65 Bronn, Beric, Tormund, Arya, Melisandre 65
10 Rich Resch 65 The Night King, Beric, Tormund, Euron, Edd Tollett 65
11 Pete 55 The Night King, Bronn, Tormund, Sam, Pod 55
12 Heath 50 Bran, Arya, Tormund, Melisandre, Yara 50
13 Paddi 40 The Night King, Hound, Sam, Pod, Qyburn 40
14 Eddie Cange 35 Tyrion, The Hound, Bronn 35
15 Mark 15 The Night King, Jorah, Tormund, Yara 15
16 Max Power 15 Jamie, Mormont, Tormund, Yara, Pod 15
17 Raymon Trost 15 Jamie, Bronn, Davos, Qyburn 15
18 Brian 0 The Night King, Bran, Tormund, Pod 0