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The best Super Bowl 53 prop bets

As the famous Tony Romo will say more than 2.5 times, “Here we go!”

NFL: Super Bowl LIII-City Views Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

If you’ve come here for knowledgeable, intelligent, well researched advice regarding making the most money on Super Bowl 53, sadly you’ve come to the wrong place. I by no stretch of the imagination am a gambler. I’m still trying to figure out just exactly what the plus/minus means in terms of betting lines. However, if you’re here because you love seeing the dumb shit people bet on and odds makers determine deserve odds made, well then by all means, continue reading!

Prop bets are always fun because after your few obvious ones (there’s always a bet on the over/under length of the national anthem), things get rather silly in terms of just what people are willing to wager on.

So, without delaying any further, here are my favorite Super Bowl 53 prop bets.

Odds courtesy of OddsShark & BetOnline

How long will it take for Gladys Knight to sing the US National Anthem?

Over/Under: 1 minute 50 seconds

Gotta start with the classic. Last year the odds for Pink singing the national anthem was two minutes so I guess Vegas thinks Gladys is going to be a bit more efficient with her time. Sure, I can get behind that.

Will any scoring drive take less time than it takes Gladys Knight to sing the National Anthem?

Yes -140
No EVEN

At first reading this I was all for betting “Yes” and leaving it at that, but I could see the “No” paying out to those daring enough to take it. The Patriots whole MO this postseason has been long, time consuming drives and while the Rams have an explosive offense, don’t you think there’s a world where the Patriots defense makes the Rams work for every point they score? I don’t think this as clear cut as one would expect. I like it.

Will a non-QB throw a touchdown?

Yes +250
No -400

Oh my God, put a $100 on “Yes” and never look back. We all know the NFL is now obsessed with the Philly Special/weird trick plays where non-QB’s throw touchdowns and I could easily see Sean McVay in a similar “balls to the wall” move as Doug Peterson, whip out a trick play that has CJ Anderson fake the running back dive to quickly throw the ball over the middle to a wide open Gerald Everett. That +250 looks mighty enticing.

What will be the jersey number of the player who scores the first touchdown?

Over 26.5: 5/7
Under 26.5: 1/1

This is the Sony Michel bet. If you think Sony will score the first touchdown—which isn’t a bad bet mind you—hit the under. Otherwise, stay away from this. Todd Gurley and CJ Anderson’s numbers are both over 26.5 as well as James White. And most of the receivers are in the 80’s (though there are a few teens like Brandin Cooks and Julian Edelman). Shit, I totally forgot about teens as wide receiver numbers.

Will there be a missed PAT in the game?

Yes +360
No -450

If Stephen Gostkoski misses a PAT, you can find me excessively drinking in a corner.

Will any player be ejected for throwing a punch or fight?

Yes +700
No -1600

*Ndonukong Suh sees the line*

Suh: This is my time.

Will LAR/NO PI call be shown during the game?

Yes +200
No -300

Easy money. The first time Nickell Robey-Coleman gets called for pass interference—and trust me, he’ll get called more than once as Edelman just eats him alive out of the slot—CBS gonna be broadcasting that play everywhere. Double your money people.

Will Brady and Goff age gap be mentioned during the game broadcast?

Yes -200
No +150

Please.

Tony Romo says “Here We Go”

Over 2.5 +150
Under 2.5 -200

I’d hit the over here. Romo’s gonna be really juiced for this game and with possibly multiple big plays, I wouldn’t doubt each one to start with a “Here we go!”

How many plays will Tony Romo correctly predict?

Over 7.5 -120
Under 7.5 -120

If both lines are even, what’s the point of betting? For the record, I’m taking the over. This is going to be the Romo Show.

What will Tony Romo be doing at the start of the 2019 season?

TV Analyst -500
Playing in the NFL +300
Coaching as an Offensive Coordinator +500
Coaching as a Defensive Coordinator +1600

lol

How many replays will be shown of Ted Rath holding Sean McVay back during the game?

Over 1.5 -135
Under 1.5 -105

For those who don’t know who Ted Rath is, he’s set to be the hottest and most desired head coaching candidate for 2020. He’s also the man who’s sole job is to do this all game:

Hit the under on this one. I think the broadcast will do it once if they can find footage of it just because they know how viral it was on the interwebs and they want to #relate but I doubt they continue to show it throughout the game.

How many times will the broadcast mention Sean McVay’s age?

Over 1.5 -220
Under 1.5 +155

Nantz: Can you believe Sean McVay is only 33?

Romo: Wow, 33.

Nantz: It’s impressive what he’s done at only 33.

Romo: He’s five years younger than me and is coaching a Super Bowl. 33! That’s just wild.

Nantz: And now the 33-year-old McVay is going toe-to-toe with the 66-year-old Bill Belichick on a crucial 3rd and long.

Romo: here we go!

What color Gatorade will be poured on the winning coach?

Clear / Water +220
Lime / Green / Yellow +225
Orange +400
Blue +400
Red +600
Purple +1000

Will a fan run onto the field during the game?

Yes +500
No -900

I guess if you really want to make $11.11 and buy yourself a Big Mac, throw a $100 on the “No” here. Or, crazy idea, just buy yourself a Big Mac with that $100. Just an idea. I know, I’m crazy.

Will Adam Levine be wearing a hat when he begins his Halftime show performance?

Yes +200
No -300

I did extensive research on this prop bet because of all the ones out there, this is the one I want to help you most with. To find all my research (be warned, it’s lengthy and nerdy) you can click here. My conclusion: No, he will not wear a hat at the start of the Halftime show.

The real Halftime show bet I want is will we see an OutKast reunion. What are the odds for that one OddsShark? GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!

How many commercials will run during the Super Bowl?

Over 96 -120
Under 96 -120

Again, what’s the point?

What commercial will appear first?

Bud Light -105
Budweiser +200
Stella Artois +550
Michelob Ultra +550
Bon & Viv Spiked Seltzer +550

DILLY DILLY!

Will Mark Wahlberg attend the game and leave early?

Yes +550
No -1000

Mark Wahlberg leaving the Falcons game early only to miss the greatest comeback in NFL history is the most beautiful piece of karma since the prince from “Beauty and the Beast” was a dick to that poor old woman, who of course was a magical enchantress who truned him into a big ugly brute.

To be fair, when you wake up at three in the morning every day to work out and then pray for an hour, it makes sense why one would want to get to bed early.

James Harden’s streak or Super Bowl, what will finish first?

James Harden’s 30-point per game streak -120
Super Bowl 53 -120

Even though both sides pay out the same (which I’ve deemed to be stupid despite the fact that actually it makes sense because if you’re wrong, you lose the money you bet, duh Pete) this one has a lot of variables in it. The Rockets play Friday and Saturday meaning there are two chances for Harden to break his 30-point streak which seems like an easy bet for the Super Bowl finishing first since Harden has effortlessly scored 30-points for basically a month and some change now. BUT Chris Paul is coming back which means now suddenly Harden isn’t the only person on the court to shoot the ball. I think I’d still put my money on the Super Bowl finishing first mainly because I wanna see Harden average 30 a game from here on out.

Will Billy McFarland be caught selling counterfeit Super Bowl tickets?

Yes +2500
No -10000

The best bet here by far. Most likely he won’t be caught selling counterfeit Super Bowl tickets and thus a bet of $100 wins you a dollar. Round of applause. BUT, if you put a $100 on “Yes” AND YOU’RE RIGHT?! Well now, you just won yourself $2,500. Think of the Big Macs you could buy with that!

What will the Super Bowl champions be served when they visit the White House?

Fast Food +205
Any other food -310

This photo will haunt me forever.