Fantasy fallout from the NBA trade deadline

Before we begin, please go check your league’s waiver wire and see if Tomas Satoransky, 12.6% owned, is available. If he is, please acquire him. Dr. John Wall will be out with an injury for quite some time. Satoransky, meanwhile, looks great. He’s the youngest ever winner of a slam dunk contest in Spain. That has to mean something. He’s 6’7”, he’s got PG/SF eligibility, which is hella odd, and he had 25 points the other night, AND cracked his head open on a BS Bobby Portis foul. (Satoransky seems to be okay, but Portis needs to chill, he’s getting a lil reputation against big Europeans. If he tries to bite Dirk during a game, then we’ll know for sure.)

Deadline recap

After allllll the rumors and pregnant-with-anticipation exclamations of BLOW IT UP AND TRADE EVERYBODY, BABY!, not that much happened at the trade deadline, meta-wise.

The Cavs predictably changed their team. Are they now a team that can defeat the Warriors? Nope. George Hill and Rodney Hood are not ever the answer to the question, What do you need in order to defeat the Golden State Warriors? The Cavs only defeated the Warriors two years ago because Draymond tech’ed himself, and the team, out of a 4-1 series win, and LeBron had one of the greatest playoff series ever. That the Warriors are again beset with technical fouls, and so it’s indeed possible that Dray, or KD, or even Kerr could miss a playoff game, and thus open the door for the Cavs, makes it seem like time is a flat circle. And, it’s indeed possible that LBJ could drink his magic juice and become an avenging angel of basketball wrath again. But, you’d need both of those things to happen, AGAIN, in order to defeat Golden State. Remember, they have Durant now, so the Dubs have four Hall of Famers, and a man who played with Michael Jordan and for Phil Jackson and Gregg Popovich. The Cavs have less than that. That’s the math, it’s as easy as that.

But, y’know, the Cavs look different, so that’s nice.

Meanwhile, the Lakers got out from under the SUFFOCATING (?) Jordan Clarkson contract, and obtained a player who can literally tell Lavar Ball to kiss his ass. Isaiah Thomas is now the toughest person on L.A. He somehow seems older than Luke Walton. The other players know that I.T. been done wrong; they’re going to help him succeed. There’s no problem with Lonzo and Isaiah sharing the backcourt because you don’t care about winning games, anyway, so just let them play, let them help I.T. give a big middle finger to the league and hopefully get paid out of it, and maybe gain a bit of I.T.’s edge, some of the chip on his shoulder (said chip is absolutely legit, too, which means sharing it gives one a sense of just purpose rather than mere spite). I think the Lakers will be good for I.T. I think he regains some of his market value.

Kemba is still in Charlotte, and...they didn’t really do anything to fix their team…

Memphis did NOT trade Tyreke, which either means they screwed up big time, or he super, really wants to stay in Memphis. Still, even if the latter is true, the Grizzlies should have traded him. That’s super bad GMing right there.

The Pistons acquired Jameer Nelson.

Dwayne Wade is hysterically back in Miami. He and Pat Riley apparently mended their fences at a funeral for a friend. I think that’s just hilarious. “He’s dead.” “Yes, he is. But, at least he doesn’t have to play for the Cavs.” And, voila! Flash is back in Miami, another escapee from the Cleveland mental asylum. I wonder if LeBron told Wade that they’re changing the whole team, and so they might realistically have a shot at a championship, but Wade was like, “NO! I mean, nah, man, thanks brother, but...uhh...that’s cool, I don’t need another ring, I just want to go home.” Wade’s from Chicago, he’s an NBA champion, he’s a Hall of Famer, and Cleveland was still able to scare him away. God, that’s beautiful. Does anyone want to play for the Cavs?

Fantasy impact

Honestly, not much has changed.

Isaiah Thomas may be more valuable in LA? He’ll be getting healthier every day, and he had a good first game, so LOL, he might end up being a top 50 player in the second half, who knows?

All the new Cavs will be at the mercy of LeBron regarding their shots and minutes, so don’t just assume: watch their games, and see who they actually play with LBJ. And, remember, Kevin Love will maybe be back, but probably not before your fantasy league’s playoffs, so who cares?

More teams will play the young guys after the All Star break, so be aware.

Honestly, though, I think this trade deadline was a bit blah. The Pistons went big with Blake, and the Cavs went big with quantity, but I don’t think the NBA landscape changed that much. It’s REALLY, REALLY weird that the Clippers didn’t trade Avery Bradley, though. Like, I find that positively mystifying unless there’s some non-basketball stuff involved, but either OKC should have him, or Houston, or Minnesota, or hell, even Boston. I mean, send him to New Orleans, send him ANYWHERE! YOU DON’T NEED HIM AND HE’S A FREE AGENT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, CLIPPERS?!

I think Josh Richardson is still under owned at 60%. If he’s owned by someone who’s spooked by the return of Dwyane Wade, I’d try to buy low on him. He’s young and he’s good, and he may be great in a few years. He’s been a top 50 player over the past month.

Terry Rozier, 35% owned, has been fabulous over the last 30 days. If he’s on the wire in your league, pick him up immediately. ESPECIALLY since the Celtics didn’t make a move. DeMarre Carroll has been a top 50 player this month, and he’s owned in less than half of leagues. And, y’know what, you might as well pick up Larry Nance, Jr., if he’s available. Kevin Love’s near 30 minutes per game are still up for grabs, and Larry Nance, Jr. is somehow the same height as Tristan Thompson. Nance doesn’t shoot threes, but if he starts to and makes some of them, he could leapfrog Thompson as the starting center.

Emmanuel Mudiay, he’s only 10% owned. If he’s available, drop everything and pick him up right now. The upside is too high to ignore.

Ditto D.J. Augustin, I suppose. He’s only 30 and he’s a career 37% three point shooter. You could do worse.

Tomas Satoransky, 12.6% owned, is a must add. Again, please go get him, if you can. Only one thing in Washington, D.C. is true: there will be no Wall for quite some time.