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Power ranking the new hot dogs of 2017 solely on their pictures

Name a more iconic duo than hot dogs and baseball. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

To celebrate Opening Day and the 2017 baseball season officially beginning, I decided to rank the newest ballpark franks in the most scientific manner possible: Purely based on how they look in the pictures. And you can trust my judgement because it’s well past lunch and I haven’t eaten yet, which means I’m starving and willing to eat anything.

Eliminated due to lack of photo

Philadelphia Phillies Mac and Cheese Dog: It sounds good, a hot dog topped with house made mac and cheese and a drizzle of pepper ketchup but as the rules clearly stipulate, this is judged off pictures. So, no pics, no rank.

PHI Jersey Shore Dog: Much like the cast of the Jersey Shore, I never want this in me.

Kansas City Royals Cuban Dog: A dog topped with pulled pork, sliced ham, Swiss cheese, mustard and pickles would have been very highly ranked. Missed opportunity.

Oh no.

Cincinnati Reds The Nacho Dog: Awful photo taking. Makes the dog look cheap and very unappetizing.

Arizona Diamondbacks Churro Dog 2.0: Looks like Frosty took a tumble and is slowly bleeding out after being impaled by a light post. No thanks.

Unoriginal

Chicago Cubs Wrigley Dog, Pilsen Dog, Bao Wao Dog & Kimchi Dog: Bored. From the looks of them, I can get those hot dogs anywhere.

Chicago White Sox The Heater: I’m sure it’s a good dog, but this looks very basic. Chicago not exactly killing it in the creativity category.

ARI Chipotle Chorizo Dog: Strong presentation from the Diamondbacks but this dog isn’t making me want to push my head through my computer to get at it.

Good not great

Texas Rangers Fritos Kimchi Chili Dog: While this presentation style works well for the M.V.T., it doesn’t work as well for the Fritos dog as they get lost in the action.

PHI Harry The K's Pastrami Sausage: Not technically a hot dog but still, it’s hard to argue with a photo as professional as this.

ARI Chicken Enchilada Dog: Yes the size is nice, but I’m looking for blow my socks of quantity at the moment. Though I do appreciate quality and the local nature of this dog as it’s made with local chicken and a local bun. Plus, a very well staged photo.

CIN The Taco Dog: Looks good and looks messy. Those are two things you want in a dog. Would have been higher on the list if the dog was more visible, not because of less toppings but because of a bigger dog.

Tummy rumblers

ARI Top Dog: Now we’re starting to get some traction. A foot-long dog in a soft bun with nacho cheese, chili, sour cream, green onion AND tater tots. Call me Napoleon because I’m not sharing those tots.

Colorado Rockies Bacon-wrapped Footlong Chili Cheese Dog: First of all, excellent camera work on this picture. Anything that is wrapped in bacon and sitting on top of a pile of fries is a win in my book.

KC Sunrise Dog: Now here’s a dog that when I look at it, I can imagine eating it and how good it would be. May seem basic, but it is done in the perfect over the top fashion with a fried egg draped across the top of each dog.

Top dogz

Toronto Blue Jays Bloor Street Dog: This just looks delicious. And healthy too which is something that some hot dog reviewers might dock points for but I appreciate the attempt at making something artery clogging a little less so.

TEX The M.V.T. Dog: There’s a reason this is called the Most Valuable Tamale. LOOK AT IT! Not only is the presentation amazing, but it’s a two foot hot dog covered in nacho cheese and chili. How do you say no to that?

Washington Nationals Miami South Beach Dog: I mean, the clear winner right? It looks good, it’s pictured well, it has everything I could want in a lunch. Though I am curious why Washington D.C. has a Miami South Beach dog...

Poll

Which new hot dog is your favorite?

This poll is closed

  • 0%
    Nacho dog
    (0 votes)
  • 0%
    Churro dog 2.0
    (0 votes)
  • 0%
    Wrigley dog, Pilsen dog, Bao Wao dog & Kimchi dog
    (0 votes)
  • 0%
    The heater
    (0 votes)
  • 4%
    Chipotle chorizo dog
    (1 vote)
  • 0%
    Fritos kimchi chili dog
    (0 votes)
  • 4%
    Harry the K’s pastrami sausage
    (1 vote)
  • 0%
    Chicken enchilada dog
    (0 votes)
  • 12%
    Taco dog
    (3 votes)
  • 8%
    Top dog
    (2 votes)
  • 25%
    Bacon-wrapped footlong chili cheese dog
    (6 votes)
  • 12%
    Sunrise dog
    (3 votes)
  • 12%
    Bloor street dog
    (3 votes)
  • 16%
    M.V.T. dog
    (4 votes)
  • 4%
    Miami south beach dog
    (1 vote)
24 votes total Vote Now