Fake Teams fantasy football mailbag: Power ranking Thanksgiving sides

Welcome to the Fake Teams’ fantasy football mailbag. Got some good rest of the season talk, Thanksgiving power rankings, desert island movies and more!

If you want to send in your questions for next week’s mailbag, here are the ways to join:

• tweet @petemrogers or @Faketeams using #FTFFmailbag
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• leave your question in the comments!

Onto the mailbag:

Q: Would you go with Perine or Derrick Henry for ROS? Trying to get a decent backfield lined up for playoffs. Also have Abdullah, Woodhead and Dion Lewis.
— @whorleyt

Good question! First looking at who you got, love Woodhead and Dion Lewis. I’ve mentioned this on the podcast a fair amount, but I think Lewis is the running back in New England as much as the Patriots have a running back. And of course if you listen to the pod, you know how Clark feels about Danny. I’m lukewarm on Abdullah but maybe he’ll prove me wrong.

But, to the question at hand. First impression, my gut says Perine. Perine now has Washington’s backfield completely to himself with no challengers. Obviously the Saints game is a very small sample size, but even if Perine is given anywhere between 15-20 touches a game, that’s a very sizeable workload for the rookie to do something with. And I don’t think that amount of work is out of the realm of possibility.

Henry is severely limited by DeMarco Murray. There’ve been only four games this season where Henry has out touched Murray and that was mostly due to Murray getting injured. If that were to happen again, well then Henry suddenly has a ton of value. But what do I always say: the best tunity is opportunity and Perine is about to get a buttload of that.

Now, if we were living in the league that my Madden franchise is, one in which the Titans gave the ball to only Derrick Henry at the goal-line for whatever reason, allowing him to rack up 12 touchdowns, then I’d say Henry. But sadly, we don’t live in that world. That world ended in a Patriots vs. Packers Super Bowl and the real life Football Gods are too cruel to ever let that happen.

Q: Alright this one is for all the marbles. Last week of the regular season for this league. My team is the top scoring team in the league but is 6-5 because of some bad luck. If I win this I pass this guy for the last playoff spot and get in. Lose and i'm out. Should I win this?
— Wyatt M.

Position by position, here we go:

QB: Given how ol’ DangeRuss as been playing recently, I have to give him the upper hand here, especially since he’s facing off against the 49ers. Now, I did give Alex Smith the edge last week and he pooped the game away so maybe that’ll happen again for you this week. 0/1

RB1: Gotta go with Bell here as the Packers are 22nd in the league in fantasy points allowed to running backs. I think Fournette will have a good game, just think Bell will be better. 0/2

RB2: I know Gurley is coming off one of his worst game of the season but I have a really hard time picking against him. The Saints do do (haha) a very good job against the run and limiting opposing running backs buuuuut Gurley is the Rams’ offense. Can I give half points in this scoring thing that I’ve invented? I can? Excellent. .5/2.5

WR1: Michael Thomas, easy. Next. 1.5/2.5

WR2: Julio all the way. Not to say Alshon Jeffery won’t build upon his hot streak but the Falcons are going up against the Buccaneers who love to give up big plays in the passing game. Kenny Still just torched them. FIngers crossed Julio does the same. Also, PLEASE GET INTO THE END ZONE JULIO! 2.5/2.5

TE: Evan Engram had his touchdown streak halted last week against the Chiefs but I could see the rookie getting back on track vs Washington, especially since there’s a good chance Sterling Shepard won’t play. 3.5/2.5

FLEX: McCaffé 4.5/2.5

D/ST: Both could get turnovers, but I’d trust the Browns to fudge this game away 5.5/2.5

K: let’s call it a push. 6.5/3.5

Yea, all things considered, that should be a win for you. Your opponent has insane running backs.

Q: If you had to bring 3 movies to a desert island (like in The Fire episode of the office), what would you bring?
— Will G.

Truth be told, this question wasn’t asked of me specifically for the mailbag, but I figured it was a great question—from an equally get episode of The Office—and decided to toss it in here.

People play this game different ways so let me explain how I approach this question. Some people treat this as “What are your three favorite movies?” and try to make themselves sound cultured and smart and pick three acclaimed movies. Wrong. This is not “What are your three favorite movies?”, that is an entirely different question. This is, you have only three movies with you for what could be the rest of your life as you’re trapped on a desert island with nothing to entertain you or give you hope but these films. These should be films that you can watch literally back to back and over and over. These should be films that if you watched them 100 times in a row, you’d still be like, “Yea, let’s do that again”.

So, here’s my list:

Snatch

Just watching the trailer makes me want to see the movie. This is possibly my favorite movie of all time. If you haven’t seen it and you like fast paced, dark comedies with lots of language, violence and convoluted plot lines, then go watch it now.

King Kong

People love to hate this movie and I don’t know why. Sure it’s long and sure the Jack Black casting was... surprising but I think it worked. Mainly, this movie makes me cry every single time I watch it. Even though it’s a CGI ape, King Kong dying and not knowing or understanding why just pulls at the ol’ heart strings. That’s important to do when you’re alone on an island forever.

Hercules

No, not the Dwayne the Rock Johnson version (though that was amazing) nor Renny Harlin’s attempt at making The Legend of Hercules gritty and what not, neither of those. I want the Disney classic that has some of the greatest songs written in the known universe. I use this to cheer me up right after watching King Kong.

Honorable mentions: A New Hope, Dirty Dancing, V for Vendetta, The Dark Knight, Grease, Anchorman, Boondock Saints

Q: I’ve decided to take it upon myself to power rank thanksgiving sides. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
5. Bread rolls
4. Gravy
3. Mac & cheese
2. Stuffing
1. Cranberry sauce
— Jasan D.

Wow.

I mean, good for you for trying but so much of this is wrong. Cranberry sauce ahead of stuffing? You must either be eating the world’s worst stuffing or the world’s best cranberry sauce. And I love cranberry sauce but not more than stuffing. Also, gravy should be higher.

Here’s the proper rankings:

5. Mac & cheese: an excellent side to go along with the turkey and ham. It’s rich and creamy and gives you the cheesey goodness you need to feel just that little bit awful about yourself.

4. Green beans: gotta at least have some mild health thrown in here to make you feel good about yourself and to counteract the mac & cheese. Granted, these green beans are cooked with bacon and in bacon fat so they’re not healthy per say but they are green. Thats a win.

3. Cranberry sauce: LOVE me some cranberry sauce.

2. Gravy: when I did a first pass at this, I had gravy back at 4 but then I reconsidered because of how useful gravy is. It can be used for anything. Have you had it on the mac before? It’s not bad. How about the ham on a bread roll? Super good. Gravy is delicious, buuuut, not as delicious as...

1. Stuffing: I mean, duh. It’s the single greatest Thanksgiving side and I don’t know how anyone could argue otherwise.

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