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New Year's Resolutions for all 30 NBA teams...

Starting the year off with NBA resolutions...

Kevin Durant is praying to God he can stay healthy this season...
Kevin Durant is praying to God he can stay healthy this season...
Mark D. Smith-USA TODAY Sports

It's traditionally the time of year where gym memberships spike.

Everybody's starting over - for a week anyway.

While the infectious enthusiasm for all things novel will likely dissipate before next week's work week ends, the ideals are still worth pursuing.

I mean, hell, we've got 364 more days to go until the next burst of enthusiasm, right?

So in line with the spirit of fixing all your life's problems in one fell swoop, here are New Year's resolutions for all 30 teams in the NBA (no particular order). Apply to your Fantasy Basketball team as needed...

Raptors: To start beating elite NBA teams.

Lakers: To trade Kobe.

Knicks: To get rid of Melo by any means necessary.

Spurs: To find eventual replacements for Duncan, Parker and Ginobili.

Sixers: To avoid being the worst team in NBA history.

Heat: To find an identity post-LeBron

Cavs: To exorcise the demons of the past.

Bulls: To keep Derrick Rose healthy.

Nets: To begin again.

Thunder: To keep Durant & Westbrook in bubble wrap.

Warriors: To keep playing defence.

T-Wolves: To put Wiggins in an opportunity to succeed.

Jazz: To let the young guns grow up.

Hornets: To convince Michael Jordan to pursue another challenge.

Bucks: To pray Parker comes back 100%.

Mavs: To hope Dirk has enough in the tank for 1 more run...

Pistons: To rebuild properly.

Rockets: To make sure Harden wants to stay.

Pacers: To get Paul George back ASAP.

Clippers: To motivate themselves to achieve more.

Hawks: To sustain the momentum.

Wizards: To keep their backcourt together long term.

Magic: To start developing winning habits.

Grizzlies: To prove that defence wins championships.

Pelicans: To change their team name.

Celtics: To draft well.

Nuggets: To acquire a star.

Kings: To ensure DeMarcus Cousins doesn't get arrested.

Blazers: To find a bench.

Suns: To trade a PG.

Short & sweet, but give me props for writing something on a holiday.

My New Year's resolution is to be more productive.

This counts, right?


Anyone out there?