AFC West Predictions

(To preview the upcoming season, Brad Coustan and I, Brian Stultz, will exchange emails to discuss our predictions for each conference.  My (Brian Stultz) emails are in italics.  Up now:  AFC West.)

Brad,

How are the Broncos going to respond from that horrific Super Bowl performance?  Will Peyton be able to recover?  Will John Fox show any signs of life?  Will Wes Welker make it rain roofies at a downtown Denver nightclub?  All of these questions are intriguing, along with:

- Is Phillip Rivers actually a favorite to win the MVP?

- Will the people of Kansas City finally realize that tailgating in a parking lot is lame compared to a college tailgate?

- Does Andy Reid share dietary tips with Bret Bielema?

- Did being coached by Reid lead Alex Smith, a Mormon, to drinking?

- Who in gods name plays for Oakland?

Predictions

1. Broncos (12-4)

2. Chargers (11-5)

3. Chiefs (8-8)

4. Raiders (4-12)

5 Things I Like

1. Peyton and Eli's rap video for DirecTV

2. Phillip River's smugness

3. Our editor Ray trying to talk himself into an Andy Reid coached team again

4. That Demeyrius (sp?) Thomas guy

5. Peyton to throw for 5,000 yards

5 Things I Don't Like

1. The stupid battle between the fans of the Chiefs and Seahawks on who can be louder. Hint: no one cares.

2. That stupid "IN-COM-PLETE!" chant at Mile High

3.  The Raiders

4.  Raiders fans. Their motto?  Our team might suck, but....damn, just got stabbed again.

5. Anchorman references for San Diego.

5 Players I Like

1. Peyton

2. Thomas

3. Rivers

4. Chiefs Defense

5. Peyton again

5 Players I Don't Like

1. Broncos D

2. Welker (and I'm going to be hiiiiiggggh as a kite by then)

3. The Mormon QB

4. Any Raider

5. Seriously, don't take any Raiders

What say you?

Brian

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Brian,

Kansas City 8-8I was soooooo tired of the Broncos. Tired of hearing how great they were. Tired of hearing about their prolific offense. Tired of how they added players on defense this year. Blah, blah, blah. Then ... Wes Welker happened. I can't get enough of this. The pictures of him handing out Benjamins at the Derby like they were Bronco programs?  The hat he was wearing?  Shirt unbuttoned?  This USA Today story http://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/05/wes-welker-kentucky-derby said he was "ecstatic" ... um ... yeah? You think?

I pegged the Broncos as last year's most overrated team and it only took the Super Bowl to prove me right. Major regression coming this year. The schedule is much tougher. Peyton is a year older.

But the Welker story will sustain my interest. As Mad Dog Russo said yesterday "How about catching a big pass for once. Gee whiz!" Or something like that.

Predicted order of finish

San Diego 12-4

Denver 10-6

Oakland 2-14

5 Things I Like

1.  Phil Rivers. I like everything about him

2.  When my team plays Andy Reid

3.  Mile High Stadium - has new meaning I guess

4.  4:00 PM Games

5.  The way Denver's line will be inflated ... er ... too HIGH ... in every game they play

5 Things I Hate

1.  Andy Reid's clock management

2.  The San Antonio Raiders

3.  The Broncos. I said it. I don't know why I dislike them. I just do.

4.  4:00 PM Games that involve the AFC West

5.  That the Raiders aren't and haven't been competitive for a long time

5 Players I Like

1.  Demaryius and Julius Thomas

2.  Phil Rivers

3.  Keenan Allen

4.  Travis Kelce

5.  Cody Latimer

5 Players I Dislike

1.  Peyton Manning - just sick of him

2.  Emmanuel Sanders

3.  Any Raider

4.  Danny Woodhead

5.  Wesley Welker

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Brad:

They are the Oregon of the NFL.  All this hype about a lot of scoring and then BOOM...they play a good team with a good defense and they are done.

The pictures of Welker at the Derby are amazing.  I would like to party with the guy AND I just realized that I have him starting for my team this week.  I really need to change that.

I have held a grudge against Peyton ever since the 1997 SEC Championship.

Phillip Rivers is a bad ass and does not have to apologize to anyone!

I think Andy Reid uses all timeouts in a first quarter sometime this year.  I am really wanting that to happen.

I like 4 p.m. games as well, but they are even better here in the Central Time Zone!  Being an hour behind is awesome sometimes.

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Eli - yes - Eli has more Super Bowl Championships and MVPs than Peyton. Cooper is just one behind Peyton.

If Andy Reid uses all of his timeouts in the first quarter how will he mismanage the clock for the rest of the game?

My favorite thing that came out of the Welker derby stuff was the reporter who asked Tom Brady if he ever saw Welker "eat" drugs. Hilarious!  Maybe Giselle had him pegged all along.

Maybe they should remake "Less Than Zero" with Welker in the Robert Downey Jr. role and Brady in the Andrew McCarthy role. And you thought I would make it through a divisional preview without a 1980s reference?  Shame on you!

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Come on.  The movie they should remake is OBVIOUSLY License To Drive, starring Peyton and Eli in the Haim and Feldman roles.  That one was right there and you missed it.

I love 80's movies and was psyched to see that Crocodile Dundee (the original) is now on Netflix.  I watched it last night.  Still an amazing movie.

Nothing beats The Money Pit, though.

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Tom Hanks and Shelly Long. It doesn't get any more late 80s early 90s than that.