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2015 Loser Series: Arizona Diamondbacks Pitcher Bronson Arroyo

While Ray gives out his sleepers, I give out my losers.

Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

(While Ray gives out his sleepers for the year, I have decided to pick one player from each MLB team as the worst player on that team.  While this has nothing to do with fantasy and I wouldn't recommend actually taking my advice not to pick these players, my picks are more to do with personal matters.  First up: the Arizona Diamondbacks.)

I'm not too familiar with the 2015 Arizona Diamondbacks, so I had to do some research to figure out who would represent them in the Loser Series I have going on here at Fake Teams.  To my surprise, I came across a familiar face when looking at the roster: Bronson Arroyo.

I was wondering what had happened to him.  I didn't know if he had retired and finally started touring with Garth Brooks or something.  Apparently he is still milling away throwing those 65 mph curveballs that a major league baseball player somehow misses.

Seriously, is there anything more annoying than watching your team whiff at pitches thrown slower than the average Little Leaguer?  It is so frustrating.  I spent years watching Arroyo strike out Aramis Ramirez and Alfonso Soriano by just lobbing the ball up there.  Okay, maybe that isn't saying much.  However, in those same games, a scrub pitcher like Glendon Rusch would also give up a homerun to Arroyo, a pitcher.  It happened more than once against Rusch, but I digress.

Arroyo is the epitome of mediocre.  Since his career year in 2010, his record is 42-38.  Nothing about him is spectacular.  He is the Virginia Tech football of MLB.  He will always be decent, but never outstanding.  He had one great year, but has failed to live up to that since.  As the years go by, he continues to grow worse.  Arroyo and Frank Beamer should really get together and have dinner sometime.  They have a lot in common.

His pitching stats, however, are not the reason he stood out from the rest of the Diamondbacks.  No, no, no.  It is his insistence that he is a musician as well.  Just take a look at this commercial from his days in Cincinnati:

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/iTQpX--WRz0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Seriously, watch the ending where he stares right at the camera.  My best friend Scott (a Reds season-ticket holder) and I have recreated that scene a million times, and it never gets old.

So, with that, I am proud to announce Bronson Arroyo as the Diamondbacks representative in the 2015 Loser Series.  Oh, Bronson, we WILL be "together again".