EPL Preview: The Chevy Chase Edition

Since someone who will go unmentioned stole my Saved by the Bell bit earlier this week, I have had to come up with some other angle to present the EPL this week.

Note, after a layoff, I am back and taking over the EPL coverage.  It has been a busy semester.  Ray missed my humor as well.

So, with all that said, I am going to present a player who you should start or bench this week along with what Chevy Chase movie they remind me of.  Chevy Chase is the greatest actor of all time.  There is no point of arguing with me about this.  Here we go!

Goalkeepers

• David De Gea (Manchester United) - Chevy Chase movie equivalent...MODERN PROBLEMS. They both have their moments, but sometimes it just gets weird (VERDICT: BENCH)
• Tim Howard (Everton) - Chevy Chase movie equivalent...EUROPEAN VACATION. Besides the whole "American in Europe" angle, we also have the fact that just something is missing from this Everton squad like the supporting cast in the movie. Chevy Chase had to carry this film due to lackluster performances by the two kids. (PLAY)

Defenders

• Danny Rose (Tottenham Hotspur) - Chevy Chase movie equivalent is...SEEMS LIKE OLD TIMES. Sort of good, but often forgotten. (PLAY)
• Martin Skrtel (Arsenal) - C.C.M.E. is...FLETCH LIVES. Better than everyone things. (PLAY)
• Craig Dawson (West Brom) - C.C.M.E. is...MEMOIRS OF AN INVISIBLE MAN. Why was that even a thing? How green lighted that? (BENCH)
• Ryan Shawcross (Stoke City) - C.C.M.E. is...VEGAS VACATION. Wasn't necessary, but had some good qualities. (PLAY)

Midfielders

• David Silva (Manchester City) - C.C.M.E. is...SPIES LIKE US. Just outstanding from top to bottom. (PLAY)
• Tom Cleverley (Aston Villa) - C.C.M.E. is...COPS AND ROBBERSONS. Why? Just....WHY?!?!?!? (BENCH)
• Juan Mata (Manchester United) - C.C.M.E. is...CADDYSHACK. Awesome performance by Chase surrounded by comedic legends. (PLAY)
• Eden Hazard (Chelsea) - C.C.M.E. is...FOUL PLAY. Classic, a bit overrated but definitely watchable. (PLAY)
• Dean Marney (Burnley) - C.C.M.E. is...MAN OF THE HOUSE. I will never forgive my parents for taking me to see this in the theaters. (VERDICT)
• Steve Sidwell (Stoke City) - C.C.M.E. is...FLETCH. The absolute perfect movie has to be put with the absolute perfect football player. Oh, how I miss him on my Fulham side. (SURE, PLAY)

Forwards

• Robin van Persie (Manchester United) - C.C.M.E. is...FUNNY FARM. The plot is there, but it just doesn't come through. (PLAY)
• Wayne Rooney (Manchester United) - C.C.M.E. is...SNOW DAY. Only because the snow reminds me of all the cocaine Rooney looks like he snorts. (PLAY)
• Olivier Giroud (Arsenal) - C.C.M.E. is...THE CHEVY CHASE SHOW. Just horrific. (BENCH)
• Sergio Aguero (Man City) - C.C.M.E. is...CHRISTMAS VACATION. Both are awesome. (PLAY)

Coach

• Louis van Gaal (Manchester United) - C.C.M.E. is...DEAL OF THE CENTURY. Like the movie, most people will forget van Gaal ever existed.
• Arsene Venger (Arsenal) - C.C.M.E. is...THREE AMIGOS! "Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education."

As always, feel free to tweet me (@brianjstultz) or email me (brianjstultz@gmail.com) with any questions or comments.  Have a great weekend, and to the Americans like myself, have a wonderful Thanksgiving.