clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

An NFL Midseason Review

You enjoyed our email exchanges to preview the season, now join us as we talk about how things have gone so far.

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

(Brad Coustan and myself have taken some time off to start the season to do some upkeep on our cottage in Vermont*.  Now that that is over, we are here with our NFL midseason review.  As always, Brad's emails and comments are in italics.  ENJOY!  *May not be true.)

Brad,

Well, we are halfway through the NFL season and, I must say, I have no earthly idea who should be the favorite to win the Super Bowl.  The Bills?  Who knows...

Anyway, here are a few things I like and don't like from the first half.

Things I Like

1.  Peyton.  Is he EVER going to retire?  Also, how did the Broncos get so many damn weapons?  It is just unfair.  Of course, this will lead him to bowing out in the AFC Championship.

2.  Carson Palmer and the Cardinals.  Where did this come from, Palmer?  How dare you ressurect your career after leaving the Bengals!

3.  Russell Wilson being mediocre.  For some reason, I just don't like the guy.  I have my suspicions that he is actually a serial killer.

4.  Andrew Luck, except his neck beard.  Does he not know that looks hideous?

5.  The chance of a total Bears meltdown leading to Cutler fighting Brandon Marshall ON the field in the 2nd quarter of some game.

6.  GRONK!  GRONK GOOD!  GRONK SCORE TOUCHDOWNS!  GRONK NO KILL ANYONE LIKE OTHER TIGHT END!

7.  DeMarco Murray, although there is a 37% chance he falls apart sometime this season.

Things I Don't Like

1.  Mike Nugent.  God, he sucks!  Cost the Bengals a win against Carolina and has missed in the vicinity of 4 to 900 field goals this year.

2.  A.J. Green's toe.  Suck it up, you wuss.

3.  Gingers

4.  Bob Kraft and his whole "I am a wholesome guy" thing while dating a girl who could be his granddaughter.  What some people will do, or WHO some people will do, for money.

5.  The chance of Rex Ryan getting fired.

6.  Tony Romo's back.  Seriously, Jerry Jones, get off the damn sideline.

7.  The fact our Saved by the Bell blog has not started yet.  What the hell are we waiting for?

What do you think so far?

Brian

-------------------------------------------------

Brian -

What to make of this NFL season?  Russell Wilson is mediocre unless he uses his legs and Big Ben is throwing for 550 yards to a guy named Martavius.  Arizona is 6-1.  Dallas is 6-2.  And the entire NFC South is below .500.  Let me say that again.  The ENTIRE NFC South is BELOW .500!  Carolina leads the division with a 3-4-1 record.  At least you can always count on the 0-7 Raiders for consistency.

I am not ready to anoint Buffalo Super Bowl champions yet.  I would rather our friend Tarnowski twist in the wind for a while.  Besides and 0-4 Super Bowl record doesn't instill much confidence.  That's a big monkey on Kyle Orton's shoulder.  Besides... Kyle Orton Super Bowl Champion QB?  Think about it.  He would be the Jeff Hostetler of this generation.  Come to think about it that Super Bowl was against...wait for it...the Buffalo Bills!  Kind of spooky.  Like Halloween spooky.  Do you like Halloween?  I am dressing up as A.C. Slater.  My wife is just putting the finishing touches on the Bayside wrestling uniform.  I will send you a picture.

Before I get to my likes and dislikes let me put out a few surprises from a fantasy football perspective.

1.  Randall Cobb.  Randall Cobb and Jordy Nelson are ESPN scoring's number 3 and 4 WRS.  I have always been a HUGE Cobb fan but he is doing it on far less targets than anyone else.  He has 54 targets on the season.  The rest of the top 8 is below 76.  The only one close in the top 10 is Emmanuel Sanders at 60.  Why?  Touchdowns.  That is sure to regress.  Sell high on Cobb.

2.  Martellus Bennett is ESPN scoring TE number 4.  He has more targets than anyone except Gronk.  I don't expect that continues out of the Bears bye week.  Not when Brandon Marshall needs to get fed.  As Keyshawn used to say:  "Throw me the damn ball!"  You can bet a lot of that is going on in the Bears locker room this week.

3.  Andrew Luck is ahead of Peyton Manning in ESPN standard scoring.  Of course he has thrown the ball 95 more times.  Also please note:  Eli Manning is ahead of Cam Newton in ESPN standard scoring.  Should I write that again? (with emphasis)  ELI MANNING IS AHEAD OF CAM NEWTON IN ESPN STANDARD SCORING!  So is Ryan Tannehill.  But NOT Andy Dalton!

How about some "unsurprises"

1.  DeMarco Murray.  Come on we all knew the Dallas offense was potent.  Extremely potent.

2.  Josh McCown is ... well ... Josh McCown.  He is not a starting QB.  Has never been a starting QB.  This leads us to the conclusion that Lovie Smith is not Marc Trestman.  At least with QBs.  He's got the silent thing down though.

3.  Nick Foles DOES throw interceptions.  Come on Nick, you weren't fooling us with that 27/2 TD to INT ratio last year.  12/9 in 2014 is more in line with my expectations.

4.  That you have yet to win a game in the Fake Teams fantasy league.  I mean - gee whiz - even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes!

Now on to the likes and dislikes and I promise they won't be peppered with Bengal complaints like yours are.

LIKES:

1.  That Dallas is finally figuring out that running the ball may be a smart idea

2.  The Miami defense... especially the pass defense

3.  That there may be a Super Bowl party featuring both Bob Kraft and Jerry Jones

4.  The Lions are winning games by not outscoring people and not making stupid mistakes

5.  The Matt Cassell and the Christian Ponder eras are over in Minnesota

DISLIKES:

1.  Peyton Manning.  Enough already.  Retire.  Best regular season QB ever.  Everything is so contrived with him.  Even the hiding of the record football between his teammates was manufactured.

2.  That mediocre Brian Hoyer has managed to keep mediocre Johnny Manziel off the field

3.  John Idzik and the John Idzik press conference

4.  Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson and Roger Goodell and all the rest of them who haven't been caught yet.

5.  Viagra commercials during NFL games.  Especially when my 12 year old son says to me "Dad, what's Viagra?"

I've got one fantasy team at 6-2.  One at 5-3.  One at 4-4 and two at 3-5.  Then I have our Fake Teams league where we play two games per week at 10-6.  Not bad for this spooky, Halloween-ey NFL season.  Not too shabby.  But then again - you like Halloween - don't you?

Fare thee well,

BC

-------------------------------------------------

Brad:

You know how much I "love" Halloween.  I would rather storm Omaha Beach on D-Day than go to a Halloween party!

As far as Big Ben, this is JUST about that time where he gets a little cocky and feels that he can get away with (allegedly) raping another college-aged girl.  Trust me, some action is going to go down in some shady college bar in western PA soon.

So, you SAY you are going as A.C. Slater, so which outfit are you rocking?

The Ballet Tights ?  The "I'm Working Out In the Locker Room"?  The Tank Top with Acid Washed Jeans?

To pull it off, don't forget to sit in your seat BACKWARDS.  That is the ultimate A.C. move.

As far as my fantasy team, what can I say?  I am NOT good at fantasy sports.  (Note: I always forget to check my lineup, so that might be a problem.)

We better hurry with the SBTB blog before they take it off of Netflix!

Brian

-------------------------------------------------

Does this have ANYTHING to do with football?  At all?

-------------------------------------------------

Oh, we are supposed to talk ACTUAL football?  I wasn't aware.

You are right about Randall Cobb.  I propose that he is the best NFL player out of Kentucky in the last 50 years.  (Not a long list.)

Also, I figured your kid asked what Viagra was after he saw it in your medicine cabinet!  (ZING!)

Stultz out!

-------------------------------------------------

Ok. I will talk actual football.

MVP - Tom Brady (because I can't stand to give Peyton any more accolades before he wilts in the cold weather.

DEFENSIVE MVP - JJ Watt

WORST COMMERCIAL APPEARANCE BY A DEFENSIVE MVP - JJ Watt at the Verizon school dance

BEST COMMERCIAL APPEARANCE BY A DEFENSIVE MVP - JJ Watt yelling at his grandma. "SHUT YOU DOWN"

WORST NFL RELATED COMMERCIALS: Papa Johns

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR:  Close - but Kelvin Benjamin will EXPLODE in 2nd half. Easy schedule.

FAKE TEAMS FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE CHAMPION: Kruger Industrial Smoothing (wait ... That's me)

NFC Playoffs:  Packers, Giants, Panthers, Cardinals, Lions (wc) and 49ers (wc)

AFC Playoffs: Patriots, Broncos, Bengals, Colts, Miami (wc) and Pittsburgh (wc)

SUPER BOWL:  49ers over Patriots

Harbaugh accepts the Lombardi trophy and immediately signs a 5 year deal with the Dolphins on national TV.

Don't say I didn't tell you so!

Out!  And by the way ... I am going full on wrestling tights with the Slater costume.

-------------------------------------------------

OK, I will respond to your football talk with MORE football talk.

MVP - DeMarco Murray

Defensive MVP - Vontaze Burfict (yeah, I said it)

Worst NFL Commercial - The "I Want It Now" one about the NFL Network.  The NFL is basically saying all NFL fans are spoiled brats like Veruca Salt.  I hate the NFL.

AFC Playoffs:  Broncos, Colts, Pats, Bengals, Ravens and Chargers

NFC Playoffs:  Cardinals, Panthers (somehow), Cowboys, Packers, Lions and Seahawks

Saban takes 49ers job after Harbaugh leaves for Dolphins.

I am going as Rod Belding!

-------------------------------------------------

Rod Belding?  A little obscure but at least you are in the Halloween spirit!