The entire Fake Teams writing staff went on vacation and left me behind "Home Alone" style, so I'm stepping in for the all important weekend edition. I'll be going by the following set of rules set forth by Ray and Jason:
"This report identifies starting pitchers who are owned in less than 50% of ESPN and Yahoo! leagues, and who either has a decent track record versus their opponent, has pitched well of late, or has a decent matchup."
First, let's take a look at how the selections from Thirsty Thursday fared:
Josh Johnson vs. Angels: 2.1 IP, 10 H, 6 ER, 2 BB, 1 K, L
Garret Richards vs. Blue Jays: 7 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 2 BB, 4 K, W
Joe Kelly vs. Pirates: 6 IP, 3 H, 0 ER, 4 BB, 4 K, W
Total: 2-1, 15.1 IP, 17 H, 8 ER, 8 BB, 9 K, 4.70 ERA, 1.63 WHIP
It was all good except for one Josh Johnson stinker. We can probably swear off Johnson for the 2013 season now. Any and all swears are welcomed.
Bruce Chen at Mets -- Chen has a 0.89 ERA on the road. He's playing the Mets on the road. Start Chen.
Ivan Nova at Padres -- I'm willing to bite the bullet on a higher WHIP as long as Nova can give me some strikeouts. He currently has 66 K's in 66 innings, and only seven teams strike out more than San Diego.
Jacob Turner vs. Indians -- I know it's the Indians, but Turner has a pretty 2.23 ERA at home, and he's allowed three runs or less in 10 of 11 starts.
Rick Porcello vs. White Sox -- Porcello beat the White Sox twice in in July, and he's about to do it for the first time in August.
Scott Kazmir at Marlins -- Kazmir is a pain to own, but he's been very good over the last 30 days, posting a 2.75 ERA and 1.03 WHIP to go along with 27 strikeouts and 11 walks in 36 innings.
Mark Buehrle at Angels -- Buehrle is rolling in his last three turns, going 2-1 with a 1.17 ERA against the Rays, Astros and Athletics. Ride the old man streak.
Good luck this weekend!
Alex Kantecki is a fantasy baseball writer for Fake Teams. He also writes the "Closer Chronicle" for Vigilante Baseball every Thursday, ranking and tiering all 30 MLB closers. You can follow Alex on Twitter at @rotodealer.