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How about that Phillip Humber, huh? Color me impressed. I streamed him in the Fake Teams H2H Points League last week and nabbed a cool 50 points from him with 41 coming from his perfect performance on Saturday. So, of course with a move like that paying off you’d assume I won my matchup, right? Oh contraire.
I lost by over 100 points! Not 98 or 99 … 100. As in "a lot of points."
To make matters worse, I forgot to set my lineup this week. Therefore I can only assume that Lance Berkman will score me 50-70 points in one of my OF spots, correct? His calf is A-OK, right?
Here is some bonus advice to complement my waiver wire pickups for this week. Think of it as the prize in a Cracker Jack box (by the way … the prizes in Cracker Jack are really, really pathetic these days … they’re like trivia questions about Benjamin Franklin or something. Not fun at all. Anyways.):
If you are going to a MLB game on a Sunday afternoon and intend to partake in the consumption of carbonated adult beverages, set your H2H points league weekly lineup prior to leaving your house. Otherwise, you will not only forget to set your lineup, but you will also fall asleep before Mad Men starts on AMC and have to avoid everyone that’s talking about the episode at work the next day.
There you go, folks! You heard it here first.
Week 5 Waiver Wire advice after the jump:
All players in this post and pre/proceeding waiver wire posts are owned in less than 50% of Yahoo! leagues (I’ll do my best to call out some players owned in less than 10-20% of leagues as well, for you deep leaguers out there in Fake Teams land).
Designated hitter:
Travis Hafner, Cleveland Indians – 14%
There is currently only one hitter in the Top 50 scoring hitters owned in less than 50% of Yahoo! leagues. In fact, he isn’t even owned in 15% of Yahoo! leagues. Can you guess who it is? Did you guess Travis Hafner? I thought you might based on his name being right above this. I know the guy doesn’t have a position, but you do have a UTL spot on your team correct? To this point Hafner has scored 43 points, which is the same as Prince Fielder.
Others to consider:
I’m fairly surprised there is even one to consider, to be honest.
Catcher:
Nick Hundley, San Diego Padres – 5%
After a stanktastic 0-21 start to the season, Nick Hundley has been on fire and has raised his BA 213 points (.213 from .000). Right now he’s batting fifth in the Padres lineup and driving in runs in droves. Droves, I tell ya! If either RBI or droves are a scoring category in your league, snatch him up.
Others to consider:
Ramon Hernandez, Colorado Rockies – 16%, Carlos Ruiz, Philadelphia Phillies – 18%, Josh Thole, New York Mets – 6%
First base:
Todd Helton, Colorado Rockies – 13%
I’ll admit this is a somewhat risky pickup. Todd Helton is so old he doesn’t think Jamie Moyer is old and he could get injured on a Monday and score as many points as Lance Berkman is going to score me this week. It’s also important to note that he typically won’t play in day games after a night game which typically happens at least two times per week. Here’s the thing, though. Helton has scored 42 points, which puts him in the Top 11 at first base at this point.
Mat Gamel, Milwaukee Brewers – 17%
I’m shocked to say it, but about the only Milwaukee Brewer hitter not disappointing at the moment is Mat Gamel. He’s hitting for a nice average, stealing some bases (3) and has one home run. It would be nice if he had 3B eligibility, but he doesn’t. It would also be nice if Aramis Ramirez remembered how to hit a baseball, but he doesn’t.
Others to consider:
Luke Scott, Tampa Bay Rays – 28%, Shelley Duncan, Cleveland Indians – 6%, Casey Kotchman, Cleveland Indians – 3%
Second base:
Mark Ellis, Los Angeles Dodgers – 5%
I’m going to keep recommending Mark Ellis until you pick him up. Why? Only six second basemen have scored more points than him and only Matt Kemp has scored more runs than him in the NL. If lineup spots were Batman sequels, his would be The Dark Knight, which was just on cable the other night and is excellent.
Eduardo Nunez, New York Yankees – 6%
For some reason due to Brett Gardner’s injury, Eduardo Nunez figures to see increased playing time over the next week or two. Anyone that understands the rhyme or reason to the New York Yankees DH spot wins a free Ray G. Fake Teams bobblehead if such a thing were ever to exist. Nunez qualifies at 2B, 3B and SS and plays for the Yankees. Mostly he plays for the Yankees.
Others to consider:
Ruben Tejada, New York Mets – 10%, Jamey Carroll, Minnesota Twins – 3%
Third base:
Jack Hannahan, Cleveland Indians – 6%
Jack "The Man" Hannahan is hitting enough to keep Lonnie Chisenhall in the minors. That’s really more just the truth than any kind of significant accomplishment. If you own Adrian Beltre or perhaps David Wright, Hannahan wouldn’t be the worst of backups at the moment.
Others to consider:
Eduardo Nunez, New York Yankees – 6%, Juan Francisco, Atlanta Braves – 1%
Shortstop:
Jamey Carroll, Minnesota Twins – 3%
Jamey Carroll doesn’t have quite the lineup spot as say, Mark Ellis. But, things could be worse than hitting in front of both Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau. His 33 points currently qualify him for the Top 12 at shortstop.
Others to consider:
Eduardo Nunez, New York Yankees - 6%
Outfield:
Juan Pierre, Philadelphia Phillies – 8%
Charlie Manuel seems content to send out a lineup void of all power and has opted to leave John Mayberry Jr. on the bench in favor of Juan Pierre in seven of the last eight games. Pierre doesn’t have the best CS rate, but he’ll be darned if that’s gonna stop him from trying.
Gerardo Parra, Arizona Diamondbacks – 4%
Justin Upton has a wonky thumb and Chris Young is on the DL which has resulted in Gerardo Parra starting in six consecutive games for the desert snakes. Parra typically lets his glove do the talking, but his bat has been quite the Chatty Kathy to start the season with 2 HR and 4 SB to this point.
Carlos Gomez, Milwaukee Brewers – 3%
Nyjer "T. Plush" Morgan has been more Hush than Plush to start the year which leaves the door wide open for either Carlos Gomez or Norichika Aoki to step in and steal his ABs. ABs aren’t the only thing Gomez could steal as he already has 5 SB in limited playing time.
Others to consider:
Kirk Nieuwenhuis, New York Mets – 6%, Ryan Ludwick, Cincinnati Reds – 3%, David DeJesus, Chicago Cubs – 3%
Starting pitcher:
AJ Burnett, Pittsburgh Pirates - 19%
In his season debut vs. the reigning World Series Champs, AJ Burnett dominated with 7 K, 2 BB and only 3 hits allowed in 7 IP on his way to a victory. The wins could be hard to come by considering the Pittsburgh Pirates offense is more Penzance than Caribbean, but the Ks are legit and the NL Central is Weak Sauce USA.
Bruce Chen, Kansas City Royals - 10%
Bruce "Lee" Chen has a 2.00 ERA and 0.83 WHIP to this point in the season. He also has 14 K to only 2 BB. Sooner or later the Royals offense should give him some run support in a weak AL Central to help improve his 0-1 record. Otherwise he's gonna go all "Enter the Dragon" on Eric Hosmer in the clubhouse.
Jeanmar Gomez, Cleveland Indians - 1%
It's certainly a small sample size, but in 9.1 IP Jeanmar Gomez has a 1.93 ERA, 0.54 WHIP and 6 K and 1 BB to go along with a W. It should also be noted that 5.1 of those innings were vs. the anemic Athletics. That being said, there's an extremely good chance he is available in your league and his fast start merits attention if the matchup is right.
Others to consider:
Barry Zito, San Francisco Giants - 34%, Jake Westbrook, St. Louis Cardinals - 27%, Jason Vargas, Seattle Mariners - 20%
Relief pitcher:
Luis Perez, Toronto Blue Jays - 4%
Luis Perez doesn't figure to factor into the 9th inning situation considering CoCo Cordero is on the team and more than willing to blow save opportunities himself. Even without a single save on the season or any likelihood of earning one, Perez is the highest scoring RP owned in less than 50% of leagues thanks to a 2-0 record, 0.00 ERA, 0.70 WHIP and 12/4 KBB in 10 IP.
Jon Rauch, New York Mets - 7%
After a perfect 3-3 in save chances for Frank Francisco to start the season, he has been horrible since while Jon Rauch has been steady as she goes. In 8.1 IP he has a 0.00 ERA, 0.48 WHIP and 4/1 KBB and would be the likely option to take over the 9th inning should Frankie continue to be stanky.
Others to consider:
Anyone with a chance of earning save opportunities.
Hit me up with any questions or comments down below.