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The Flawed Plan to Plan; A Literary Interpretation of Fantasy Football

He lies awake at night.  Tosses and turns.  He closes his eyes but his vision doesn't dissipate.  He sees it clear as day, and he’s seen it a thousand times before.  It’s always there, every August, getting tougher instead of easier as the stakes grow.

The more you think about something, the more you are prepared?  It would seem obvious that you would be, but that’s not always the case.  We plan, we plan, we plan, but you know what they said about best laid plans.  And in this realm, if you’re not expecting the unexpected, then you’re unprepared.

You have to expect both what you believe will happen as well as the impossible.  Cover it from every angle, dissect, analyze, decipher a plan and take it apart and put it back together.  There’s no telling where you’ll be going but only where you’ve been. 

Inside you know that the next third of your year will be determined by a single moment, in a single day, lasting but a single hour.  Every decision is critical, every choice could ultimately determine your fate.  Don’t be wrong or you’ll pay a dear price that you can’t afford to pay.

That’s right, it’s time for the NFL Fantasy Football season and most importantly, the Fantasy Football draft.  How can one even start to try and quantify the importance of that with words?  It’s a task that seems unreachable and unattainable, but I will give it my best shot after the jump… 

What follows is of the utmost importance.






It’s that time of year

The news just arrived

100 dollar buy-in

“Don’t wuss out guys”


You just finished last

In two-thousand-ten

How could you ever

Face that again?


But pride’s on the line

No more Mr. Nice

Bragging rights for a year

How can that have a price?


“Sure, I am in!

You are all going down!”

But you feel inside

“Please don’t be the clown.”


The laughs and the prodding

Seemed endless at times

Your friends won’t forget

You drafted Moss with pick 9


“Not this time!

I’ve got the number one pick!”

But inside you’re worried

“Foster or Vick?”


The draft fast approaching

Who will you choose?

“Come on man, I got this.

How can I lose?”


You stayed up all night

Researched until dawn

Called in sick to work

For days you were gone


The sleepers, the sure-thing,

The breakout, the kid

The 7th round draft pick

“They won’t know he slid!”


You’re a genius now

Prepared like an ant

You can start talking crap

To the leagues “also-rans”


It’s time for the draft

Your eyes on the prize

A cool thousand bucks

What will you buy?


You can’t stop the visions

From dancing around

You’ll be laughing and cheering

Your friends can just frown


The imagination runs wild

But as the clock ticks

“I announce the #1 selection

Sir Michael Vick!”


You’ve thought and considered

All taken into account

He’ll be the league’s highest scorer

There’s just no more doubt


“Get ready boys,

This year will be fun.

He’ll score 51 points

On the Rams in week 1!”


Other owners are unsure

But yes, they do worry

He’s the only one in the league

To score points in a hurry


The season has started

You sit back and recline

Turn on football on Fox

This day’s mighty fine


For the first time in years

You feel alive

And there’s Mr. Vick

A TD on the first drive!


You send out a mass text


You whoop and you holler

You jump up for joy!


Then at this moment

A text message reply

You look at your phone

“Ha Ha Poor Guy!”


You think to yourself

“What does this mean”

As your eyes revert

To the TV screen


You know this feeling

Your stomach is sick

As carted off field

Is Sir Michael Vick