I haven't read much Rick Reilly since he made the leap from SI's back page to ESPN.com. However, I stumbled upon his brilliant Twistory Lessons the other day and it got me thinking about a fantasy version. So I give you a blatently ripped off Twitter bit with a fantasy twist.
Fantasy Twistory Lessons - aka Fantasy Life Lessons in 140 characters or less
Dodgers Stadium is a pitchers park and I don't like the righty on righty matchup so I think I'll bench Tatis against Park tonight - 4/23/99
Esteban Loiaza for $2? 5.71 ERA and 87 Ks in 25 starts, I think you overpaid - 3/23/03
These starting pitchers are driving me crazy - 4/1-9/30 from 1875-eternity
Just sold high on Cliff Lee . . . can't believe I got Verlander for him. Classic buy low/sell high. What a sucker! - 4/25/08
Andruw Jones is due for a bounce back. 11th round? I'll take him - 3/15/08
Emilio Bonawhatcio? - 3/19/09
Just drafted . . . love my pitching . . . Webb, Dice, Lester, Wang, and my super sleeper Carpenter. Bullpen is Ryan, Motte, Street, and Morrow! - 3/30/09
My fantasy baseball league is with ESPN this year. I hear they've made some big upgrades - 2/28/07
Tom Brady is a steal at the 6th pick . . . you guys are dead this year. That Larry Johnson pick last year was just bad luck - 8/22/08
I don't trust Matt Forte. Curtis Enis, Ced Benson and the rest of the Bears RB's have burned me before - 8/24/08
The NBA draft class was amazing this year. I'm gonna pick at least 5 rooks starting with my boy, Marcus Fizer - 10/20/00
Bargnani's the next Nowitzki. I'm gonna take him a round early - 10/22/06
Matthew Berry section - (Matthew, I kid because I care)
Bench Adrian Peterson, trust me the Chargers defense is tough against the run - 11/4/07
Michael Turner will finish with fewer than 1,000 yards rushing and seven touchdowns - 8/21/08
Erik Bedard is my number 1 fantasy starter this year - 3/21/08
Justin Verlander is my number 2 starter in the AL this year - 3/25/08
Feel free to submit your own Fantasy Twistory Lessons below