*in my best Frank Sinatra impersonation*

And now, the end is near

And I present the final recaps

The FakeTeams Hoops Tournament

It's been a blast, saying what happened

The draft, we have gone through

Which teams did what, and why they did them

But now, we finish up, with the teams that diiiiiiiiiiiidnnnnnnn't

These teams, they didn't do

A recap of all of their players

Leaving me with a heap of incomplete post-draft reflections

But rather than toss them out, I've decided to post them anyway

Because hey, it is my league, and I'll do it myyyyyyyyyy waaaaaaay

Mostly though, I didn't feel like bothering these guys with writing any more than they already did. I greatly enjoyed hearing from them all, especially the blurb about Roy Hibbert, but with a couple guys voluntarily ceasing their updates, I didn't want to pester them with finishing it in the middle of the holiday season. Still, I find this a highly-enjoyable read. There are a lot of different writing styles at display here, and even if you loathe basketball and everything associated with it, you should still be able to appreciate the collective effort that went into producing this.

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So initially, I had planned to get these team-by-team testimonies of the FakeTeams Hoops Tournament members done by New Year's Day. But then I got preoccupied by stuff, and things, and whatchmacallits, and do-dads and a bunch of other holiday-related nonsense, which is why I've been a little slow in getting some of these articles out.

As a mea culpa, I'm going to combine the last two remaining dudes who wrote blurbs for all 13 of their players into one article, even though they have nothing in common other than that their first names begin with 'J.' Justin Kendall writes for The Pitch and has his own fantasy basketball blog, the link to which is below. Kendall was kind enough to step in on short notice when one of our charter members decided to amscray, saving me from finding a replacement in the middle of the Christmas holiday season, which would have been unbelievably stressful. Jeff Andriesse writes for RotoExperts and Damn Lies and Stats, the latter of which has a nifty podcast that you guys should check out.

After this, we got one more article to go, so bare with us and enjoy the different forms of writing by the people in the league.

Justin Kendall (The Pitch, Life Is Just a Fantasy... Basketball Blog)

3. Chris Paul

"This is what you do with the third overall pick (if LeBron James and Kevin Durant are already off the board). Paul is turning the City of Angels into "Lob City." Just ask the Lakers. Paul will feed Blake Griffin and DeAndre Jordan all the alley oops they can throw down. And they are going to slam a lot. I expect Paul to average around 10 dimes a game in LA. But the biggest reason I went with CP3 is the steals; 2.4 steals per game last season make him an irresistible selection. And no, I didn’t spend one second thinking of taking Dwight Howard (I had no desire to punt a category so early)."

26. Danny Granger

"I had my fingers crossed that Kobe Bryant would fall. The like Vanessa Bryant, the other owners weren’t touching the Black Mamba. But Damn Lies & Statistics snatched him at 23. Damn is right. No Mamba for me led me to take self-proclaimed "Stern’s Bitch" Danny Granger. He’s a former first-round fantasy pick, and even with his injury history, I felt better with him than Kevin Martin, who has his own injury issues (plus, K-Mart’s bruised feelings over the failed trade to New Orleans might hinder him). I’m counting on David West’s post presence opening up more opportunities for Granger. Either Granger is going to average more points and drain a ton of threes, or he’s going to build another brick batcave."

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Well, it's my turn in the box.

I was gifted with the fifth position in the FakeTeams Hoops Tournament -- the official fantasy basketball experts league of FakeTeams -- which allowed me to construct a team around Superman himself. As a result, I wound up with a pretty sweet lineup, although when I wrote about my team just days after the draft, I wasn't sure whether or not I had over-committed to my rebounds-galore strategy.

Here's what I scribbled shortly after the December 18th draft...

5. Dwight Howard

"I toiled for a minute between Howard and Love, since both offer an incredible rebounding/scoring combination. I really had to think whether I wanted the 20-and-15 guy with three-point shooting, free-throw shooting and mediocre block numbers, or the 20-and-15 guy with excellent block and field-goal percentage numbers, but god-awful foul-shooting. I decided to go with Howard since elite centers are incredibly rare, especially coming from Yahoo!, where there isn't a PF alive who isn't also considered a C. Plus, wherever Howard goes next year, it'll be on a crowded roster with at least one other established scorer, and probably two. He'll never put up better stats than he will this season, so I figured there was no better time to build around him."

24. Zach Randolph

"Man was I hoping Kobe Bryant would fall to me. Is he old? Yeah. Is he still a beast? Yeah. Things may have worked out for the best though, as I really like Randolph as a compliment to Howard. The areas that Z-bo sucks at as a forward (blocks, field-goal percentage) are areas Howard is great at. Plus it gave my team the identity as a team that would never lose in rebounding under any circumstance. It was an identity I probably beat to a bloody pulp in later rounds, but I always like to set aside one stat and categorically declare: I will never lose in this. And getting Howard and Randolph with my first two picks did just that, while still giving me players capable of putting up some points."

33. Kyle Lowry

"Sadly, Jrue Holiday didn't fall to me, so I went with the next best option. I knew I needed to draft a point guard relatively early, since D-Howard and Z-Bo never pass the ball, and I'm a big fan of the Rockets' latest trendy point guard. (They seem to go through a new one every other year, from Steve Francis to Bob Sura to Rafer Alston to Aaron Brooks.) It wasn't just that Lowry scored a lot of points and got a surprising amount of rebounds while racking up assists last year -- it's that he did it while making a tremendous amount of three's in the process. Can he keep it up for a full season? Perhaps, perhaps not. But if he can mirror what he did in the second half of 2011 and give me 16 points, 7 or 8 assists, 4 rebounds and a lot of three's, he'll be a steal at No. 33 overall."

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Neil Tardy writes for ESPN, and he's in the FakeTeams Hoops Tournament. That's pretty damn cool. I mean let's face it: there are a lot of great writing outlets out there, SB Nation included, but there's only one Mothership. So for Mr. Tardy to take place in our inaugural fantasy basketball experts league on short notice was a pleasant surprise, not to mention the fact that he clearly knows what the hell he's doing, since at the moment his 13-5 record is atop the league standings. (Followed closely by yours truly at 12-6.)

So what exactly does his team look like? Well, let's find out, shall we...

11. Amar'e Stoudemire

"I guess I was spoiled from a previous draft when, picking 13th of 16 teams, I had a choice between Westbrook and Deron Williams. I wasn't really looking for Stoudemire here -- I am aware of his production decline after Melo came on board. Still, can't complain too much about 20-plus points and a couple of blocks a night."

18. John Wall

"Very happy with this pick. He may not progress as much as I hope this season, but I consider Wall the back end of the elite PGs. And I had to have an elite PG."

39. Joakim Noah

"I may regret passing on Ibaka (who went next), but I like Noah. I always have. Obviously I feel that he's capable of staying injury-free for a full season, even if he has yet to show that. He doesn't even have to play 82 games this year. That has to improve his odds, doesn't it?"

46. Ty Lawson

"I have Lawson in both my primary leagues, and I think I got him in every mock I did as well. And no matter how early I went for Lawson, at least one other owner was seriously bummed out about it. Like a lot of folks, I'm convinced Ty is ready for a big season."'

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Fourth verse, same as the first.

In today's edition, Ken Gayton of BlogDudes.com tells us what he thought about his drafted team in the FakeTeams Hoops Tournament of Supreme Importance ZOMG! Gayton and his cohort Dennis Velasco -- who's written for The Basketball Jones, True Hoop, ESPN, SI, Barkley's Mouth, and probably a dozen other sites -- are representing the "Blog Dudes" team in this competition, and Ken was kind enough to detail what the tandem came up with on Draft Day, Sunday December 18th.

13. Al Jefferson

"When I saw my draft position, I thought I was screwed. To me, it was the absolute worst pick to get. Drafting thirteenth in a draft of 12 players you can build a team around. Not only that, but I don't get to draft immediately back to back so that I can for sure pair certain players with one another. I was lucky that Jefferson fell to me because I had him as a top 12 player. He's rated lower on ESPN, but since we are counting turnovers in this league I think he should be higher. Not worried about Enes Kanter or Derrick Favors stealing minutes from him because the Jazz are going to want to get maximum value for Jefferson in a trade, thus wanting his stats inflated. Twenty and ten with two blocks a game is very realistic. Not to mention low turnovers and decent free throw percentages for a big."

16. Dirk Nowitzki

"The guy I wanted to pair with Jefferson, Monta Ellis, got drafted so now I am left with either reaching for one of the second tier point guards or building on my strengths. I toyed with drafting Wall here, but I don't see much of an improvement on last years numbers. Everyone assumes that Wall will make this big jump because Derrick Rose made one last year. I don't see it. He won't make a lot of threes (and didn't work on that like D-Rose did), shoots poor percentages, and turns the ball over a lot. He's a slightly better option than Rajon Rondo because he'll get more points. I drafted Dirk instead, giving me another 20plus scorer with high field goal percentages and low turnovers. Guess I'm punting assists."

41. Brook Lopez

"Yup, another big. Paul George wasn't the only NBA baller that grew over the summer, Lopez shot up to seven feet which should help him grab more than six rebounds a game. Wait, he was always that tall? Well maybe he'll play more inspired with Deron Williams feeding him the ball? It allowed me to add yet another 20plus scorer with a high field goal percentage that will allow me to draft some gunners later. Throw in the blocks and good free throw percentage and Lopez is a solid pick here. Plus, he hasn't missed a game in three years....oh no....not good."

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Hello, friends.

How long has it been? 5 days you say, 5 days since the latest draft update from FakeTeams Hoops Tournament? Well that just won't do. Not at all. I know how much you've all been clamoring for this, refreshing FakeTeams every couple minutes just on the slight chance that there's a new update. And because I'm still in the Christmas-giving mood, I present the latest and greatest installment of our team-by-team fantasy basketball experts league draft results.

Today, Adam Madison, formerly of ESPN and the Talented Mr. Roto, will discuss what he liked and disliked about his drafted squad. Adam wasn't personally able to attend the draft due to a snafu with the Internet, but he was happy to discuss what the auto-picking computer did in his place.

8. Deron Williams

"I have D-Will ranked 8th in turnover leagues, so no complaints."

20. Carmelo Anthony

"I usually hate drafting SG/SFs early, but I'm okay with this pick; 'Melo's my 13th ranked player. He shot 42.4 percent on 3-point attempts after joining Mike D'Antoni in New York, and while his career percentage of 32.0 percent implies that's a fluke, he was chucking 4.6 triples per game. Fluke or not, that's a boon to his fantasy value even if his field goal percentage correspondingly drops a couple of points. He's always been one of the few stars with a low turnover rate relative to his usage, so I captured some value here."

37. Steve Nash

"Now we're talking! I've ranked Nash 25th on my Big Board, right ahead of Rajon Rondo and Rudy Gay and below Chris Bosh and Brook Lopez. Nash is a symptom of a major market inefficiency going on this year: veterans. Peers such as Jason Kidd, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Carlos Boozer are also extremely underrated. Nash keeps himself in impeccable shape, so I'm not worried as much as I otherwise would be about attrition. Why would Kyle Lowry be picked ahead of Nash when the latter finished 18th on the player rater and Lowry couldn't even crack the Top 50? Turnovers, you claim? That's why I knocked him seven spots on my rankings."

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Do you get drowsy looking at your fantasy basketball team? Are you depressed after losing too many matchups? Don't be ashamed. There are millions of Americans, just like you, who no longer have the energy to get out of their chair and check on their team. It's natural. When you were younger, and you first discovered fantasy, you could check on your team for five, ten, or (if you were really excited) even fifteen minutes at a time. But now the sport has grown on you and you're not winning as much. If you check your team at all now, it's only for like 90 seconds; five minutes tops. Luckily, there's something I can recommend that'll make you love your fantasy team like you were 19 again, and give you all the energy you need to satisfy not only your own fantasy basketball desires, but the computer's as well. After all, it isn't fair to just go to sleep every night, leaving the computer alone with your five dynasty leagues that are all in their infancy. No successful fantasy partnership can be built without both parties working in harmony, taking turns with decision-making, deciding which league needs the most attention, which players need to be put in timeout.

Have I beaten the analogy to death yet? Well too bad!, because the thing I'm recommending is actually a person: Jason Hahn of fbasketballblog.com, who also writes for Dime Magazine as the Fantasy Doctor. Unlike most dimwits in the fantasy bracket (yo), this guy is actually getting paid for his surgical analysis of fantasy teams, so his opinion carries much more weight than your average fantasy-medical-expert-wannabe. Also, he's a good writer and has something new up every day, so go visit his blog, won't you?

Unfortunately, Jason wasn't actually able to attend the draft way back on Dec. 18 -- probably due to emergency triple-bypass surgery on a team that accidentally drafted Larry Hughes in the first round. It didn't matter though, because the computer made some unbelievable picks in his place. Sure, getting the No. 2 overall selection helped, but the auto-picker was brilliant, and Jason was appreciative.

To see what Mr. Hahn wrote about his 13 drafted players, click on the jump......

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Hey, remember a few weeks ago when I announced who was in the newly-minted FakeTeams Hoops Tournament, and when I also announced that there was gonna be a round-by-round recap of everyone selected, featuring blurbs by all of the owners? Yeah, well... funny thing that.

See, making plans in December is easy, and agreeing to said plans is even easier. But finding the time for said plans smack dab in the middle of the Christmas season is hard to do, and getting all 14 members of the league to contribute blurbs proved to be, let's just say, difficult. So in my best Drew Brees impression, I'm calling an audible and changing the gameplan. The ones who were kind/free/bored enough to sit down and recap their lineups will get the benefit of having an article completely devoted to their team, in their own words. The others? Bubkis!

And yeah, I know what else you're thinking (unless I'm projecting, which I am). "It's January. Isn't it a little late to publish these blurbs now, two weeks after the draft and a week after the fantasy basketball season started?" Maybe. But you know what -- if Harry Potter can end its movie series with mid-twentysomethings playing teenagers, then this isn't the worst stretch in the world.

The first owner to speak on behalf of his team is Mike Gallagher, of FakeTeams fame. Here's his Twitter address.

Here's what he said about his team, back when it was 2011 and the season hadn't started...

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