EPL Fantasy Preview: Match Week 38

Clive Mason

Taking a look at who to play and who to bench on the season's last day.

Last Saturday was a sad day at the Stultz compound as my beloved Fulham saw their 13-year run in the EPL come to a close.  I have moved past the denial stage, but I don't think I will achieve acceptance until I see them next August playing a side like Nottingham Forest.

Don't worry, though.  I am NOT going to disappear.  We will have plenty of post-season coverage along with great columns on the World Cup.  Don't stop reading because your fantasy team stunk because of me!

For the last time this campaign, let's take a look at who to sit and who to play as Manchester City tries to not choke the title away.

Goalkeepers

-          Mark Schwarzer (Chelsea) - Has been playing well in fill-in duty for Cech.  (VERDICT: PLAY)

-          Joe Hart (Manchester City) - Am I the only one seeing City give up two early goals and then coming back to win 4-2?  Okay then.  (VERDICT: BENCH)

Defenders

-          Kolo Toure (Liverpool) - If Liverpool wants to have any chance to win the title with a Man City slip up, they better keep Newcastle off the board.  (VERDICT: PLAY)

-          Per Mertesacker (Arsenal) - Props to Mertesacker and fellow Arsenal players for making this hilarious video responding to haters on Twitter.  Mertesacker, however, is still awful.  (VERDICT: BENCH)

-          John O'Shea (Sunderland) - The way Sunderland is playing right now, I totally expect O'Shea to score a goal from 50 yards out.  (VERDICT: PLAY)

-          Leighton Baines (Everton) - Sure.  Why the hell not?  (VERDICT: PLAY)

Midfielders

-          Steve Sidwell (Fulham) - "It's soooo hard, to say goodbye to yesterday.  I thought we'd get to see forever. But forever's gone away. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday." Thanks to Boyz II Men for giving me a way to say goodbye to my dear friend Steve Sidwell.  (VERDICT: PLAY)

-          Steven Gerrard (Liverpool) - Poor Stevie.  (VERDICT: PLAY)

-          Stephen Ireland (Stoke City) - I am trying to make my entire midfield out of Stephens.  Let's see if I can do this!  (VERDICT: PLAY)

-          Sandro (Tottenham Hotspur) - Well, that goal feel apart quickly but at least all their names begin with S.  That's something, right?  RIGHT?  God, I am so alone.  (VERDICT: PLAY)

-          Yaya Toure (Manchester City) - Just amazing.  His name doesn't begin with S though.  (VERDICT: BENCH)

Forward

-          Dimitar Berbatov (Fulham) - Oh wait, I thought it was 2012 again.  My bad.  NEXT!

-          Clint Dempsey (Fulham) - Oh right.  He decided to be a no-show and didn't score a damn goal during his loan spell.  Thanks Clint!

-          Darren Bent (Fulham) - You are awful.  (No, I'm not bitter or anything.  Why do you ask?)

-          Luis Suarez (Liverpool) - Sure.  (VERDICT: PLAY)

-          James Wilson (Manchester United) - How many people picked him up before last week's brace?  (VERDICT: BENCH)

-          Edin Dzeko (Manchester City) - Will not let City's title slip from his hand.  (VERDICT: PLAY)

-          Fraizer Campbell (Cardiff City) - SEE YOU IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP LEAGUE NEXT YEAR, BUDDY!  (VERDICT: PLAY)

Well, it has been a great year and I hope my advice, if you listened at all, didn't screw up your team too badly.  Looking forward to handing out some postseason awards next week and bring some World Cup coverage as well.  I want to thank Nabae Asfar for filling in for me every now and then and, of course, Ray Guilfoyle for finally letting me infiltrate Fake Teams with coverage of what my friend Thomas calls "that commie game".  As always, feel free to email (brianjstultz@gmail.com) or Tweet me (@brianjstultz) with any questions or comments.  COME ON YOU WHITES!

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