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MoFos Top 5 Bold Predictions for 2013

So I have to continue the theme of outrageousness that has been percolating this week at Fake Teams. Without further ado, I give you MoFo's top 5 bold predictions for 2013:

1. Justin Verlander will win 29 games, to go along with a nifty 1.01 era and a 0.54 whip. Just for good measure, he throws in 452 Ks, with half of them coming against the Cleveland Indians.

2. Derek Jeter will play in 38 games and hit .262/.310/.315 and decide to announce at the All Star Game he is dating Ellen Degeneres. 500 Yankee fans jump off the GW bridge, but Brian Cashman is quoted as saying "Any way I can get me some a dat?"

3. The LA Dodgers realize following the Washington Redskins business model is not a good one to follow, so they empty the vault and purchase the entire American League Central. Bud Selig makes the decision that he will approve the purchase so long as the Milwaukee Brewers are designated as the only team in the NL Central. Chaos ensues when the Chicago Cubs become interdivisional rivals with the newly minted, 100 man roster LA Dodgers. Theo Epstein is seen running from Wrigley in a gorilla suit, throwing his resignation papers in the air.

4. Buster Olney and Tim Kurkjian will be found smoking hashish and trippin' out on mushrooms, and all they can say is "Jim Bowden gets Insider status as well?"

5. My beloved Red Sox will win 137 games and they will employ three closers, who will all save more than 40 games, making history while choking away the WS to the aforementioned AL Central Dodgers.

I hope you enjoy my 5 bold predictions, and I hope every single one of you ends up in last place in your rotisserie league!

Lol, just kiddin.

Kinda.

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