EPL Week 16 Fantasy Preview

Alex Livesey

Who to play and who to bench in Week 16

I'm back!  Sorry about missing the last couple of weeks but things have been a little hectic for yours truly.  Let's just say waking up at 4 a.m. to save a tailgating spot a full 34 hours before the Auburn-Bama kickoff was involved.  After that game, it was TOTALLY worth it!

Anyway, we have a few good games going on this weekend.  Let's take a look at who to play and who to sit:

Goalkeepers

Defenders

  • Patrice Evra (Manchester United) - Why do I just get the feeling Evra scores this week for the Red Devils? I could be totally wrong here but, hey, like that hasn't happened before. (VERDICT: PLAY)
  • Phil Jagielka (Everton) - He's running into the juggernaut that is Fulham right now! (ONE WIN IN A ROW!) Look for the Cottagers to pull the upset at Goodison Park. (VERDICT: BENCH)
  • Ryan Shawcross (Stoke) - Stoke is a bad side. (VERDICT: BENCH)
  • Phil Jones (Manchester United) - I'm stick with Mr. Jones until he lets me down. (VERDICT: PLAY)
  • Davide Santon (Newcastle) - I'm big on this Newcastle side right now. They look in top form heading into this weekend's match against Southampton. (VERDICT: PLAY)

Midfielders

  • Aaron Ramsey (Arsenal) - Sit him. Trust me. Man City is going to take Arsenal to the woodshed. You can thank me later. Oh, and to Mr. Swart, no whiny texts tomorrow morning when City are up 4-0 over your beloved Gunners. (VERDICT: BENCH)
  • Steve Sidwell (Fulham) - HE SCORES WHEN HE WANTS! (VERDICT: PLAY!)
  • Samir Nasri (Manchester City) - The MERCENARY, as Piers Morgan calls him, is a key factor to City's possible run to the top of the table. (VERDICT: PLAY)
  • Paulinho (Tottenham Hotspur) - Poor Spurs. They are running into a red hot Liverpool team with a red hot Suarez. (VERDICT: BENCH)
  • Jonathan Howson (Norwich City) - STULTZ GUARANTEE OF THE WEEK! Mr. Howson will pick up his 3rd goal of the year against Swansea. (VERDICT: PLAY)

Forwards

  • Luis Suarez (Liverpool) - Don't be a frigging idiot! (VERDICT: PLAY)
  • Robin van Persie (Manchester United) - With six months to go until the World Cup, van Persie is rounding into his normal world stage self by being injured. He is out for a month.
  • Sergio Aguero (Manchester City) - Again, don't be stupid. (VERDICT: PLAY)
  • Clint Dempsey - IS HE POSSIBLY ABOUT TO BECOME A COTTAGER AGAIN? OH HAPPY DAY IF THAT HAPPENS!
  • Christian Benteke (Aston Villa) - Are we sure Villa will score again this calendar year? I just don't see it happening. (VERDICT: BENCH)
  • Eden Hazard (Chelsea) - Big game tomorrow against Crystal Palace. (VERDICT: PLAY)

I would like to thank Nabae Asfar for picking up my slack the past couple of weeks.  Between tailgating, final exams and still not being able to come down from cloud nine due to beating Alabama/winning SEC/going to BCS Championship in Pasadena in January, my mind has been elsewhere.  I am quite certain you prefer him anyway.

As always, I will be up and at it early on Saturday and Sunday to watch the matches.  Feel free to tweet (@brianjstultz) or email me (brianjstultz@gmail.com).

COME ON YOU WHITES!

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