Season's Greetings to Jeffrey Loria

Mike Ehrmann

The holidays bring out the sentimental side in all of us. In that spirit, I wonder what the sentimental side of Miami Marlins' owner, Jeffrey Loria, might look like.

Miami Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria has gotten a good deal of bad press in the last several months because he dismantled his team. But I wonder if we are seeing the real Mr. Loria. Is there a sentimental side we are missing? With that, in the spirit of the holiday season, and with apologies to Julie Andrews, I offer the following, in hopes that we all might rethink our feelings about Jeffrey Loria. To be sung to the tune of My Favorite Things:

Brie, wine, and sweaters, and Tahoe on Sunday

Off to the islands for breakfast on Monday

Lying to fans and pulling those strings

These are a few of my favorite things

Monets and Van Goghs and investor dollars

Fooled Mr. Selig and all those white collars

Loyal fans rot while I'm dining with kings

These are a few of my favorite things

Country clubs, golfing, and resorts abounding

Taxpayers, parking, and MLB counting

Trade them and cry poor and that's all I'll say

I'll just sign Juan and then call it a day

When the press bites, when the fans cry

I just laugh and sing

I simply remember my free stadium

And I do not feel a thing

Best to all during the holidays. Even the Scrooges.

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