We have one opening in our ellaborate third-year keeper league. An owner with thorough knowledge of minor league rosters and experience using metric stats is preferred. Designed to mimic a major league front office, we need someone to draft quality prospects, acquire free agents of value at auction, and sign talented players long-term.

The format is 12-team ESPN Head2Head 7x7 (R, 2B, 3B, HR, RBI, SB, OBP x QS, W, K, HD, SV, ERA, WHIP) with an active and organized Proboards forum. The entry fee is $50 through LeagueSafe.com with full payouts to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place. The specific features of our league are:

Farm Evaluation - rank members' prospects during the offseason
Winter Meetings - earn budget discounts by trading away signable talent in January
Four-Round Prospect Draft - owners control three years of free service time before needing to sign or release prospects
8-16 Contracts Tendered - more than half a roster may be kept from year to year, with six years being the longest contract possible
Signing Bonuses - longer the contract, larger the signing bonus
Draft Pick Compensation - when star players leave for free agency, previous owners are eligible for additional draft picks
Free Agent Auction - slow auction at couchmanagers.com
Player Arbitration - undrafted and unauctioned players have values determined by ESPN
Rule 5 Draft - lowest in standings have priority in acquiring these prospects
Designated for Assignment Rules - players under contract are subject to being DFA'd

Keeper contracts are deducted from a $300 budget, with the remainder to be used in free agency to fill 30 roster spots (C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, CI, MI, OF, OF, OF, OF, OF, U, SP, SP, SP, SP, SP, P, P, RP, RP, RP, RP, RP, BE, BE, BE, BE, BE).

Adrian Gonzalez LAD - [2013-$36, 2014-$36]
Michael Young TEX - [2013-$15]
Elvis Andrus TEX - [2013-$22, 2014-$22, 2015-$22]#4yr
Josh Hamilton TEX - [2013-$38, 2014-$38]
Hunter Pence SF - [2013-$23, 2014-$23, 2015-$23]#4yr
Michael Bourn ATL - [2013-$10, 2014-$10]
Colby Lewis TEX - [2013-$15]
Wandy Rodriguez PIT - [2013-$14]
Tim Hudson ATL - [2013-$12]
Vance Worley PHI - [2013-$3]
Andrew Bailey BOS - [2013-$7]

Eleven players are already signed to contracts, and several more are worthy of an extension below.

Chris Davis BAL $5
Jose Altuve HOU $6
Jason Kubel ARI $10
Doug Fister DET $14
Joe Nathan TEX $10

This franchise is also armed with the 3rd pick in every round of the prospect draft, to further fortify the farm:

RHP Jordan Lyles HOU
OF Michael Taylor OAK
RHP Carlos Martinez STL
OF Leonys Martin TEX
RHP Matt Harvey NYM
OF Anthony Gose TOR

If this league sounds interesting, please contact me at thismustbesatire@yahoo.com so we can talk some baseball.