Smart Predictions for 2012

Brought to you by msufan23 and dudedudedude

Bold? Not really. Smart? Yes. Teams are listed in order of how they will finish within the division.

AL EAST

1) New York Yankees: Michael Pineda doesn’t live up to the expectations. Having no pitch to handle left handed batters will not bode well in division. The park is an issue, the competition is a bigger one.

2) Boston Red Sox: Kevin Youkilis lights it up. The Greek God of Walks avoids the freak injuries that have plagued him and performs well above his draft slot. They lead the league in annoying fans for the 364th consecutive season.

3) Tampa Bay Rays: Desmond Jennings is not Carl Crawford. A 24 year old lighting up the minors is nothing special. His HR/FB% came out of nowhere for that explosion in August last season. Less than 12 home runs, less than 35 SB's. Upton becomes the forgotten man and plays extremely well.

4) Toronto Blue Jays: 162-0, Brett Lawrie steals first base. Jose Bautista hits one opposite field home run and Brandon Morrow gets more double plays than last year. Arencibia leads the league in women. (Totally not a Blue Jays fan)

5) Baltimore Orioles: Brian Matusz is done. He doesn't gain his fastball velocity back and continues to throw batting practice. He joins Scott Kazmir for lunch.

AL Central

1) Detroit Tigers: Victor Martinez will be lost to a torn ACL in a freak work out accident before the season begins. They make a dumb move and hand Fielder a blank check. Doug Fister is overrated. He doesn't get the super soft schedule that he did at the end of last season and now has two bowling balls rolling around on the corners. Max Scherzer lights it up.

2) Cleveland Indians: Jimenez is an ace. He strikes out 200, throws 220+ innings and has a sub 3.20 ERA. His defense decides to get to a ball in play once in a while. Kipnis can't make contact with a beach ball.

3) Kansas City Royals: The outfield is atrocious. Gordon breaks up with the magical BABIP fairy and Jeff Francoeur remembers that he's Jeff Francoeur.

4) Chicago White Sox: Nestor Molina comes up mid season and is scary good. Brandon Beachy that can induce ground balls. Kenny Williams is fired for not understanding how rebuilds work.

5) Minnesota Twins: Mauer is the number 1 catcher once again. How soon people forget. This is the guy that lead all catchers in wRC+ from 2007-2010. Sure he's injured and he doesn't play catcher everyday, but you still get to stick him in your catcher slot when he's playing DH.

AL West

1) Texas Rangers: Hamilton is a top 5 player. Those freak injuries that occur for no real reason or leave any lingering affects are nothing to be worried about. He's one of the best hitters in the league, bar none. In other news, the entire team is really, really good, so draft them. All of them.

2) Anaheim Angels: Albert Pujols is better than everyone else combined. He teaches Vernon Wells how to hold a bat.

3) Seattle Mariners: Felix Hernandez is a top 3 pitcher. He is no longer the sexy pick like Clayton Kershaw or Justin Verlander because he has been good for too long. Charlie Furbush, that is all.

4) Oakland Athletics: Billy Beane manages to create a team with a negative payroll. Moneyball was inaccurate.

NL EAST

1) Philadelphia Phillies: John Mayberry Jr. and Ty Wiggington perform better than Ryan Howard would have in a full season. Cliff Lee is more reluctant to change hats than I am to switch my piece of Stride gum.

2) Atlanta Braves: Kris Medlen wins a spot in the starting rotation. He was Brandon Beachy before there was Brandon Beachy. He is still better than Julio Teheran and Randall Delgado. Craig Kimbrel is over drafted by 60 spots.

3) Washington Nationals: Wilson Ramos is the most overrated fantasy catcher. People assume progression is linear. He’s a great feel good story after what happened to him this offseason, but that doesn’t make him an instant superstar. Drew Storen is also over drafted by 60 spots.

4) Miami Marlins: Hanley Ramirez has an absolutely huge season. Mike Stanton hits 35 home runs, a great figure but everyone is mad at him because they spent more than they should have to acquire his services. Logan Morrison gets an endorsement deal with twitter.

5) New York Mets: Lucas Duda changes his name to Lucas Dud. Everyone’s sleeper pick is climbing draft boards and is losing all of his potential surplus value. He’s not that good.

NL Central

1) Cincinnati Reds: Devin Mesoraco is drafted when he shouldn’t be. He’s a nice prospect, but in a time share, which is not what you want out of your fantasy starter. Joey Votto is the same player as Miguel Cabrera, and much better than Prince Fielder, but is still drafted behind them for some strange reason. Dusty Baker gets mad at Walt Jocketty for not giving him any young arms to destroy.

2) St. Louis Cardinals: Lance Berkman is the second best 1st basemen in the NL, while Adam Wainwright loses his control. The Cardinals switch to an email system in the bullpen, and here by ban all phone use by players.

3) Milwaukee Brewers: Zack Greinke steals the show in Milwaukee. Shaun Marcum is undervalued because of his playoff performance and Yovani Gallardo repeats his stellar 2011. Every guy in the world dreams of having a moustache on par with John Axford.

4) Pittsburgh Pirates: Erik Bedard is criminally underrated, and the rest of the pitching staff combines to have the worst ERA in the league. This team is bad, and apart from Andrew McCutchen, Bedard and Neil Walker, you should stay away.

5) Chicago Cubs: Anthony Rizzo is a good player, and outperforms Yonder Alonso. He doesn’t start in the majors right away, but is a more than serviceable first basemen when he does. Chicago fans are upset with Epstein and Hoyer for not delivering a title yesterday.

6) Houston Astros: If you draft someone other than Bud Norris or Wandy Rodriguez, I want whatever you had to drink. None of the hitters will be worth anything. Draft all Houston players in an NL Dynasty League for shits and giggles.

NL West

1) Arizona Diamondbacks: Paul Goldschmidt is good. You want someone who can challenge Mike Stanton and Jay Bruce to home run titles one day? This is the guy. He may not do it this season, but his raw power is phenomenal. This team is good, and the farm system has some nice pieces. They will be good for a few years.

2) San Francisco Giants: Buster Posey is not someone you will want to own. A catcher with mediocre power in a park that suppresses home runs is not a valuable commodity, especially when the lineup around him is terrible. Pablo Sandoval is worth owning, but the rest of the bats are not valuable enough to own this season.

3) Colorado Rockies: Neither of us have anything to say about them, they are boring, and boring must mean they are average. That logic is not flawed at all, because I said so.

4) Los Angeles Dodgers: Matt Kemp doesn’t have a 20/20 season, and you might think I’m crazy but hear me out. I don’t want him to have a 20/20 season, and that’s why he won’t. Dee Gordon goes crazy and hits .270, and therefore, has an OBP of .270.

5) San Diego Padres: A random pitcher comes out of nowhere to post solid ERA and WHIP numbers like one does every season in San Diego. Your guess is as good as mine as to who that is, since anyone can be good in PETCO. Maybin is worth owning, Headley is solid but not great and the rest of the offense is well below average. Stay away.

The awards are separated since he is absolutely insane and I am not (or so the guy inside my head tells me).

msufan23

AL Rookie of the Year: Yu Darvish

AL Cy Young: Felix Hernandez

AL MVP: Miguel Cabrera

NL Rookie of the Year: Bryce Harper

NL Cy Young: Roy Halladay

NL MVP: Justin Upton

dudedudedude

AL Rookie of the Year: Yu Darvish

AL Cy Young: Yu Darvish

AL MVP: Jose Bautista

NL Rookie of the Year: Trevor Bauer

NL Cy Young: Zack Greinke

NL MVP: Joey Votto