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QB Matt Stafford -- looking every bit his 17 years of age -- calls plays for the Lions during training camp. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

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In an article horrifically titled "Culpepper Making Pitch To Be Lions No. 1 QB", washed-up quarterback Daunte Culpepper insists he's the man to lead the Lions this season.

Culpepper's body is giving him a chance to restore the glory he enjoyed as Minnesota Viking. The 6-foot-4 QB says he weighs 260 pounds, considerably less than last year, when he played in five games for Detroit.

"This is the first time I've been 100 percent going into camp since 2004," he said, referring to the season in which he threw 39 TDs for the Vikings. "I feel great."

Holy cow, that's the worst thing I've heard all day and that includes the death of Farrah Fawcett.   I think the Lions are going to be much improved this season (yeah, I know it would be hard to be worse) and they have several serious fantasy options in Calvin Johnson, Kevin Smith and Matt Stafford.   Notice how I didn't list Daunte Culpepper.  That's because he stinks.

The best thing for shrewd fantasy owners would be for Culpepper to actually WIN the starting job.  If that happens, you can get Stafford cheap in the last round.  Then, when the Lions are 0-4 and the 320 people that still live in Detroit are throwing things at Culepper, you'll be sitting pretty as the Lions replace Culpepper with Stafford.  Boom, instant starting quarterback.

Trust me, it's a foolproof plan.