Who are the Arizona Cardinals? I finally figured it out (I think)...

So I get the feeling I knew would be coming.  Time running out in the AZL v STL game- Marc Bulger just scrambled on 4th and 18, fumbles, ball over to AZL on downs.  The Cards take a knee and the visitors leave as victors, 21-13.

Who are these Cardinals?  It's hard to say, but I think I know.  I will always have a small place in my heart for them.  I grew up loving them when they resided in St. Louis.  Even though they sucked, I was always convinced as a kid they would turn things around just in time to win the next Sunday.  Everyone else seemed to know different and I have grown up quite a bit since then.

Here's who these Cardinals are: they are that girl I knew in college who was kinda slutty but hot.  The one who every guy had a story about, except me.  We were just friends.  But she was still hot and she knew it.  And she knew I liked her.  Then one day something magical happened- she gave me a second look.  Maybe it was because it was late and we were both drunk.  And probably no other guy available at the minute.  But I didn't care and a relationship started.  Then she left at the drop of a hat.  "We can still be friends" she said.  And she was with someone new.

That's like the Cardinals.  They ho-hummed along in St. Louis for years.  Everyone knew they were a trashy team.  But I liked them anyway.  I stuck with them for years, watching faithfully every Sunday.  Neil Lomax, Stump Mitchell, Roy Green.  Man they were great.  As a kid I would be asked who was my favorite NFL team and I would proudly proclaim "the Cards".  That always got me an awkward look from others.  Maybe they just did not understand.  Then again, maybe I didn't understand at the time.

Then came the day the Cards rejected me.  Just like that chick in college.  They left for another, just like she did...an old man in Arizona.  He built her a new house and she was that "hot blonde" on his arm.  But she was still a whore and most people knew it.  But he didn't care, he just wanted the eye candy.  And soon enough she went back to her old ways....

But for me a new one came into my life.  In walks the Rams.  They started out horribly but I played Mr. Broken Wing guy once again.  This time it worked!  I stuck it out and "The Greatest Show on Turf" was born.  I was so proud too.  And it helped that the Cards were back to their losing ways.  Plus they would come visit.  What an awkward feeling that was.

Time passed though.  And the Rams became the Lambs.  And the tide turned in Arizona as well.  They went to the big show.  Today they return once again but this time as a different team.  They are good now.  And the Lambs suck.  Today they walk off victorious.  I guess.  But they're still whores.  I understand that now.  And it's time for me to walk out on the Rams.  They're whores too.